


Deep Dark Sin

by AngelsFallFirst



Category: Nightwish
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-10-27 05:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10803045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsFallFirst/pseuds/AngelsFallFirst
Summary: A story of forbidden love, forbidden acts and many many sins.[Tarja x Tuomas AU]•••A/N:I need to remind you that this is only a story... a kind of religious story written by an atheist. Forgive me please, just like God will forgive me for all my sins.Don't like? Don't read :)





	1. Chapter 1

"Father Kristian." The young man sunk on his knees. "I want to confess."  
The older priest looked up. "My boy. Tuomas. What did you do? Come here and talk to me."  
Tuomas stood up and walked to the old man.  
"It's time for me to go. I found a wonderful Lutheran church in Kitee. The priest is old and can't preach anymore. They're looking for a young priest so I applied ... and I got the job."  
"My boy, that's wonderful!" Father Kristian called and clapped his hands. He pulled the smiling Tuomas into a quick hug. "See? I told you you're made for more. I'm proud of you. When will you start?"  
"Sunday will be my first mass," Tuomas said. "First Sunday of advent."  
"Wonderful, just wonderful. Kitee is a nice village, you will see. Wonderful." Father Kristian nodded again. "Amen, brother. Amen."  
"Amen, father." Tuomas nodded at the priest and went outside.  
Soon he'd start a new life. A new life in a new village, a new church. New people.   
If he had only known how much his life was about to change.

Some months later ...

"Tarja? Church is about to start."  
Tarja ignored her mother and buried her face deeper into the pillow.  
"Tarja!" Marjatta said impatiently. "Quick now."  
"Oh mum, do you know when I came home? At six. In the morning!"  
"And now it's eight in the evening and church is about to start. Tarja. It's holy Saturday. You know that Easter eve is something special."  
Tarja didn't react. The hangover was still present. She had had too many drinks again. Maybe one or two too much ...  
"Tarja!" Marjatta pulled the blanket away and the young woman groaned. "Dress. And then come down. You'll go with us, no matter what."

Twenty minutes later she was done. With a grumpy face she walked down and Marjatta sighed. She knew it was too late for her daughter to change clothes now.  
"Cover up," she hissed and shoved her coat at Tarja. But Tarja let it fall, straightened her back and walked outside.  
She was wearing a tight, purple corset with black ribbons and a big black skirt that reached until the ground. Her shoulders were covered by nothing than a thin, black lace jacket and on her head sat a big, black head with a small veil that covered most of her eyes. But the eye catcher of her outfit was definitely the big cross that was placed exactly at the top of her cleavage.

Everyone was looking at her but Tarja had already stopped caring about it. That's why she was wearing that veil, right? So she couldn't see all those judging looks.  
Tarja smiled as she saw her best friend waiting in front of the church. She waved him and he immediately waved back.  
"Hey, Emppu," she mumbled and hugged him quickly. "Where did you leave your suit?"  
"I was too lazy to dress gothic today," Emppu commented and linked their arms. "Next week."  
"For sure," Tarja said.  
"Nice lipstick," Emppu suddenly said.  
"Thanks." Tarja smiled more. "It's black."  
"You should borrow it to me one day," the small blonde suggested and Tarja nodded.  
The group of people around them stared at them in shock and with disgust.   
None of the young adults could care less. They sat down and grinned happily as no one wanted to sit down in their row. So the whole bench stayed empty besides Emppu, Tarja and Tarja's family.  
The church was dark. Suddenly Emppu leaned over. "The new priest is so hot, isn't he?"  
Tarja looked at him in surprise. "We have a new priest?"  
"Yes! For months already."  
"Emppu, I never go to church," Tarja said and leaned back. She was curious about that priest would look. Emppu found him hot? Hm. They had the same taste in men after all.  
"She had to put that ugly lipstick on, right?" Teuvo suddenly mumbled to his wife and Tarja smiled satisfied.  
She loved to tease people.

Tuomas loved this little Lutheran church.  
He loved the people of Kitee, they were more welcoming than the ones of his old village. The village was beautiful and so was the church.  
Tuomas had bought a house soon after Christmas, immediately knowing that this was where he belonged. And after those four and a half months he also wasn't nervous before a mass anymore. He straightened his robe and got outside. 

Tarja's eyes grew wide. And she quickly looked away.  
"Fuck," she muttered into Emppu's direction. The small man grinned.  
"Hot, huh?"  
"Oh yes," Tarja mumbled. She'd have never expected the priest to be young and have long, black hair! And he had a beard!  
Tarja suppressed a moan. Oh yes, he really looked like a man she'd...  
"Quick. Tell me something," Tarja pleaded but Emppu didn't reply. The woman in front of them had turned around and glared at them.  
Tarja made a grimace at her and the woman turned around again.  
"Let's shoot pictures tomorrow?" she asked and the smaller Finn nodded.  
And then the mass started and Tarja had to look at the priest. 

Tuomas had immediately seen her. How couldn't he?  
First of all, she sat quite in the front of the church. Second, she and her family (?) were the only ones in the bench. One almost empty bench was quite the eye catcher of the little church. And last - her style was ...  
Incredible. Tuomas couldn't think of another word.  
He had never seen her before, she probably wasn't from Kitee. Her hair was deep black and curly. She wore a hat with a veil. She wore a corset and gloves. Even her lipstick was black. And that big cross that rested on her chest ...  
She looked mysterious. Tuomas couldn't take his eyes off her. He forced himself to tear his gaze away.  
Who was she? Why did the people behind her look at her with disgust?  
... true, she could have covered her chest at least. Tuomas hoped she'd stand up to receive the holiday sacrament. Then he could talk to her.  
But she didn't.   
While everyone stood up, she and her blonde friend were the only ones who stayed in their benches.   
"I wish you a wonderful easter celebration, Mrs Turunen," Tuomas told the elder lady, who nodded at him.  
"Same to you, father Tuomas."  
The question of who this mysterious gothic lady was burnt on his tongue but he didn't dare to ask it.  
The Turunens walked back to the bench and Tuomas watched the man, he remembered that his name was Teuvo, throw a mad look at the young woman who obviously didn't care.  
Who was she? Why hadn't he seen her before?  
How old was she? What was her job?  
Tuomas caught himself thinking of this woman (girl?) more than he should.

"Really, Tarja. That lipstick just had to be, right??" Teuvo scolded.  
"Uh - yes," Tarja replied. "Emppu and I will go out now."  
"What?" Teuvo called. "You've been out yesterday already. Drinking! At Good Friday!"  
"Well, as you know I don't care about religion," Tarja said with a shrug, grabbed Emppu's collar and pulled him away.  
"She needs to get brainwashed," Teuvo mumbled and Marjatta sighed.  
"I have no idea what went wrong with her ..."

Tarja's friends consisted of Emppu's cousin Satu, her boyfriend Jukka and their best friend Marco. Tarja, Satu and Emppu had been best friends ever since, and as Jukka came into Satu's life, they welcomed him in their clique with open arms. With Marco it had been a bit different, he was older than the others and even though he was older, he was even crazier. And he liked Tarja a bit too much.  
She noticed everytime they went out, and this time he didn't disappoint her either.   
"Is it okay for me to put my hands here?" Marco asked and everyone laughed as he placed his hands on Tarja's ass.  
"If I'm really honest, Marco," Tarja started, "It's not okay, so - same as yesterday. And I can already tell you, tomorrow it won't be okay either."  
"Aw, pity." Marco put his hands away and Tarja fled out of the bar.  
Satu followed her.  
"What's wrong? You look down."  
Satu knew her too well.  
"I don't know. It's nothing."  
"You were in church like that," Satu said and looked down at Tarja. "Emp told me. Are you crazy?"  
"Uh, yeah," Tarja grinned. "The people were quite shocked."  
Satu shook her head. "You're too obsessed with teasing."  
"I know. Hey, do you have time tomorrow?"

Satu had time.   
So the next day, Easter Sunday, they went into the woods. Satu was carrying her camera and Emppu and Tarja were dressed as gothic as one could imagine.  
They normally shot their pictures in Savonlinna but since they had all returned for the easter holidays, they had to content themselves with the un-gothic locations of their hometown.  
Tarja couldn't wait to upload her new pictures, and therefore she was happy to have Satu, who was a photographer, and Emppu, who loved to play model as well.  
Despite her dream job was singer, Tarja loved to model. She loved wearing gothic clothes, make up and accessories. She didn't earn money with it, yet, but Satu's pictures had a beautiful quality and Tarja knew that one day she could use them. If her dream to sing wouldn't work out, she could become a model and those pictures would help her a lot.

Tuomas had called his family and had wished them a happy Easter celebration.   
He had went to church, had met Linus, the caretaker of the church and graveyard, they had prayed together. Then he had bought himself a breakfast at the bakery, had sat down and eaten. Everyone who would sit down and talk to him was allowed to eat with him.  
And some actually did, two people started a conversation. In his old village he could forget that but it seemed to be different in Northern Karelia. The people seemed much nicer.  
"Thank you so much for your invitation, father," the old lady said and patted his hand.  
"Ah, no problem, Mrs Rytkönen," Tuomas said gently.  
"You're so nice," the old lady continued.  
Tuomas chuckled. "Can I ask you something?"  
"Sure, sweetie." The old lady let go of his hand.  
"There's this girl who sat with the Turunens yesterday," Tuomas started.  
"That dark girl?" Mrs Rytkönen said and her eyes widened. "She's a witch."  
"What?" Tuomas laughed.  
"Yes. She's a witch."  
"What's her name?"  
"I don't know."  
"Is she related to the Turunens?" Tuomas asked on.  
"I have no idea," Mrs Rytkönen replied. "I think so. Suddenly she was there and suddenly she was wearing those things. She's a witch."  
Tuomas doubted it but she wouldn't leave his mind. No one had ever dared to wear black lipstick for church.   
Later he went for a little walk. He took his favourite path, the little wood close to his church. He had walked for only a few minutes, as he suddenly heard voices.  
"That's good... perfect. Emp? Don't look like that."  
"But that fucking hat is too tight."  
"Your own fault! I told you to buy the other one."  
"But the other one was red!"  
"And that would've looked too gay? Seriously, Emppu."  
"Well, I'm sorry!"  
Tuomas got closer - and his heart stopped beating for a few seconds. It was her.  
And she was posing at a little glade.  
And what she was wearing was ... Tuomas couldn't stop staring. Tight pants, a corset, a hat. High heeled boots. Her shoulders were free and now he saw that she had tattoos on her shoulders and neck. And of course the dark lipstick wasn't allowed to be missing.  
"Like this?" she asked and pressed her shoulders back.  
And suddenly her dark coloured eyes fell on him.  
And she pressed her shoulders back even more.   
Tuomas looked away from her, her cleavage was way too visible.  
The blonde boy sat at a big stone and watched the woman and the photographer.

"We have a visitor," Tarja mumbled and Satu turned around.  
"Hello!" she shouted. "Could you maybe stay away? We're photographing here!"  
"I've noticed," Tuomas replied. "Don't worry, I'll go. Happy Easter to you!"  
"Happy Easter, father," Emppu replied with a broad smile. Tarja and Satu noticed that he tried to flirt. They rolled their eyes.  
And suddenly the priest looked at Tarja.   
"You're going to have a cold. Cover up."  
And with those words he turned and walked away.  
"The game is on..." Tarja whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tarja? What are you doing?" Marjatta's eyes grew wide as she saw that her daughter was waiting at the door.  
"Well - I'll go to church."  
Marjatta was quiet for a while, then she said:  
"That's a joke. Right?"  
"Eh - no. I'm ready for the mass."  
Marjatta looked down at her daughter. Couldn't she wear normal things for once? And then this dark lipstick ... the big rose on her head... those boots. And the usual corset ...  
"Corsets are really unhealthy, did you know?"  
Tarja rolled her eyes. "Yes. In the 19th century when they tied the waist so tight that women couldn't breathe anymore. This one feels just like a shirt. I already told you that you can try one."  
"No, thanks," Marjatta replied. She felt bad for it but she was happy that she didn't have to see her daughter every day.  
"That's it - do you want to go to the church like this??" Teuvo thundered as he saw his daughter.  
"Well, yeah," Tarja said.  
"Tarja! What's that thing on your necklace??"  
"It's a choker, not a necklace. And the pendant, that's a pentagram."  
"That's a sign of the devil," Teuvo said.  
"It's not," Tarja sighed.  
"It's not," Toni suddenly said. "I read about it. It's something Christian."  
"It's not turned. See?" Tarja took the pendant and turned it. "Now it's a sign of black magic."  
Teuvo had paled. "Turn ... it around again."  
Tarja rolled her eyes again and turned the pentagram back to its original position.   
"I swear, if you do that in the church -"  
"I won't," Tarja interrupted her father. "Don't swear. Now let's go."  
"Sassy girl," Teuvo muttered. "How did she become like this?"  
Marjatta shook her head. She had no idea. 

She was here again.  
Tuomas' heart made a small jump. How many corsets did she own? This time it was red with black ribbons. And this time she didn't cover her shoulders, everyone's eyes were drawn to her tattoos.  
Tuomas shook his head lightly. Why did she show her body like a prostitute?  
And again she sat alone, this time she sat completely alone though. If she cared?  
She didn't look like she cared. She stared up to the ceiling and played with the pendant of her choker.  
But this time she stood up to receive her holy sacrament.  
Tuomas' heart stopped as she walked closer.  
She was wearing short leather pants and black lace overknees. Wasn't she feeling cold?  
As she knelt down in front of him, he could have had a clear look into her cleavage. He didn't look down though.  
As she stood up, his heart started to beat faster.   
Her eyes were greener than the greenest eyes he had ever seen.  
"I told you to cover up, girl," he said quietly and drew a cross on her forehead.  
"Is that holy water?" the girl simply replied. "Cause if it is, I'll start to burn."  
Tuomas clenched his fists. "This is not funny."  
"Whatever." She shrugged and turned around, walking away from him.  
Tuomas was speechless.

"What did you say to the priest??" Marjatta scolded and grabbed her daughter's wrists. "He looked deeply offended!"  
"Ouch!" Tarja tore her arms away. "I told him I'd start to burn if he drew a cross on me with holy water."  
Marjatta and Teuvo gasped. "Are you nuts?!"  
"No, I'm Tarja."  
"Tarja Soile Susanna Turunen!" Teuvo growled. "Into your room. Now!"  
"Wow. Horrible punishment," Tarja said coldly and walked upstairs, calling Emppu immediately.   
"Emp? Can you pick me up? I have a plan."

"Are you nuts?" Emppu was as shocked as Tarja's parents had been.  
Tarja had climbed out of her window as Emppu had arrived. Then they had driven to the little wood again, where Tarja had told her best friend what she had said to the priest.  
"Ehm - no. Not really. And now I want you to take nude pictures of me."  
Emppu was speechless. "What? No! It's April, you'll get a cold!"  
"I'm a Finn, I won't get a cold," Tarja said. "Here, I took my camera."  
"Tari - sorry to say this but you're obsessed. You know that the priest could see us here."  
"Yes, I admit I am obsessed," Tarja said. "But it's already Monday and tomorrow we'll return to Savonlinna... and he's my new victim. Besides that - I need to take nude pictures sooner or later anyway. This will be gold for my model career."  
Emppu shook his head. What was wrong with her?  
"Okay."  
"Okay??" Tarja jumped excitedly.  
"Yes," Emppu groaned and took the camera. "Undress."

Tuomas had been watching them from the distance. They were only at the border of the woods, close to the graveyard.   
And he felt his blood boil when she suddenly started undressing.   
On the graveyard! Where everyone could see her!  
Tuomas started to run. "Hey!" he shouted. "Are you crazy!? Stop, you whore!!"

"There he comes," Tarja said and put her corset away. She didn't admit it but she felt uncomfortable. It was cold, she wasn't all too sure of her body.   
"What did he just scream?" Emppu asked shocked. "I understood whore."  
"Really?" Tarja felt a light pang in her chest.  
"Go away, whore!" he shouted again, not coming closer. "This is a graveyard! Go away or I'll call the police!"  
"Fuck, let's go," Emppu mumbled and took Tarja's hand.   
But Tarja was furious. "Oh yes?" she screamed back. "I'm sure you're walking home with me in your mind now and finish what I started! Wanker!"  
"Tarja!" Emppu groaned and pulled her into the wood.  
"You're... unbelievable!" he scolded. "You can't just say such things to a priest. Finish what you started ... you're crazy!"  
Tarja's blood was boiling. "He called me a whore," she hissed.  
"Well, you dress like one," Emppu looked down at her naked upper body. "Or at least run around like one ... Please dress again."  
"Is it that horrible?" Tarja joked but slipped into the corset again.  
While Emppu closed it, he continued scolding.  
"A wanker. You're unbelievable. What if he tells your parents?"  
"Then I'll tell them he called me a whore," Tarja said. "So - next weekend we'll continue."  
"What??" Emppu called. "You don't want to stay in Savonlinna?"  
"Nope," Tarja snorted. "I'll think of more ways to annoy him. Until he fucking leaves Kitee. Me, a whore. I'm laughing. See me laughing? Hahaha! He'll so regret everything he said."  
"You'll go straight to hell," Emppu sighed. 

Tuomas was furious. Who was she to do such things?  
And why had he wanted to get closer, observe her naked body?  
He folded his hands and knelt down.  
"Father ... forgive me. Forgive me ..."

Tarja and Emppu returned to their colleges in Savonlinna. The whole drive she thought about how to annoy that priest as hell. Literally...  
On Wednesday after her courses she went to a gothic store and bought new things. Some of them more revealing than what she had already worn.  
A whore. Tarja couldn't believe it. He knew nothing about her. Nothing. 

Satu got a phone call on Friday.   
"What are you doing tomorrow?"  
"Nothing ... yet. You want to go out?"  
"Actually ..." Tarja bit lip. "I - I wanted to take pictures again."  
Satu said nothing at first. Emppu had told her about their friend's new obsession. But then she sighed.  
"Okay. When?"

"Not really!" Tuomas muttered to himself. Couldn't they look for a new location??  
This time they were even close to the church and her outfit -  
Tuomas felt the blood raise into his head. She was wearing horns on her head. She had a red tail. Her whole leather outfit was red! She was the devil. And the devil was leaning against the wall of his church.  
"Hey!!" He ran towards them. "Now you really lost your mind. What on earth possesses you that you're taking ... devious pictures in front of the church??"  
"What possesses me...? I'd say the devil," Tarja countered and pressed her shoulders back.  
"I can't believe it." Tuomas shook his head. "What's your name?"  
"Why? You need a name to scream when you finish what I started once again? What did you scream on Monday - whore?"  
Satu's mouth went open.  
"How dare you - stop saying this! Devil, witch or whore ... no matter what you are. Your accusations are preposterous!" the priest called.  
"Your whole grotesque face is preposterous!" Tarja spat.   
Satu held her breath.  
"Leave the graveyard," Tuomas said calmly. "And pray. Maybe God will forgive you."  
"Sure," Tarja laughed. "I'll go on my knees and ... pray. HAHA."  
"Do your parents know that you're a prostitute?" Tuomas asked calmly.  
"Oh come on. I'm joking." Tarja rolled her eyes. "Hey - can we use the inside of the church for pictures?"  
"Wait - first you call me a wanker and then you want to go inside my church?"  
"Well actually it's not your church," Tarja said and turned away from Tuomas. "It's an open place. Come, Satu."  
"Stop!" Tuomas yelled. "Not in this outfit. Have you lost your mind?"  
"Uhm - yeah. I've lost my mind." Tarja grinned evilly and Tuomas sighed.  
"I have a key for the church. It's locked now. I won't let you go inside in this ... devilish outfit."  
"Oh, pity," Tarja said and Tuomas could hear how little she cared. "Sadly I don't have clothes to change - oh wait! I do! Satu? Don't do something sinful with our little priesty here, I'll be right back."  
And with those words she vanished.  
Satu gave Tuomas an apologetic look. "I'm sorry."  
"It's not your fault," Tuomas replied but Satu felt bad anyway.

Tarja took a look at her face in the rear mirror. Yes. She looked acceptable. With an evil grin she positioned the cross on her - very visible - cleavage. She had needed weeks to find a turned cross but eventually she had ordered it from the Internet. Now it was time to baptise it.

Tuomas thought he was dreaming when she returned from the car.  
She was dressed in white. His mouth seemed to have lost the ability to close.  
The skirt was long in the backside and short in the front side, her legs were naked though. Her corset was white as well, but oh boy, that cut out was deep.  
And when he noticed her necklace, his blood started boiling once again.  
"No," he said as she came to stand. "You're not getting inside with this."  
He was shaking madly as he pointed at the necklace.   
"How dare you!" Tarja called. "Yes, I don't have a big bosom but that's no reason to shut me out!" She knew that he was talking about her necklace but she enjoyed teasing him. Really.  
"What - I didn't talk about your bosom!" the priest bellowed. "Take that bloody thing off!"  
"You're swearing! I'm shocked!" Tarja shook her head.  
And suddenly Tuomas had enough. He simply grabbed the cross and tore it off.  
Tarja screamed as the chain cut into her skin.  
The cross and the torn chain fell down.  
"You touched my boobs!" Tarja screamed.  
"What -!" Tuomas was speechless. Again.   
"Did you want to open my corset? Really? Are you that needy? You'd fuck a whore?"  
Tuomas closed his eyes.  
"Get out of my sight. Now."  
"Come Satu," Tarja sighed and picked the cross from the ground. "He wants to be alone. God knows what he's about to do now."  
"Don't use God's name!" Tuomas called after her. "You're not worth to take his name into your filthy mouth."  
"Whatever! Wanker!"  
"Really?" Satu groaned.  
Tuomas sat down.  
His hands were shaking, his face was glowing.  
Did she do this on purpose? And if she did - why? Tuomas hadn't done anything to make her angry ... he hadn't even tried to change her faith. Her non-existent faith, she was obviously an atheist. Or a satanist.  
If she was a satanist though, she was hell of a beautiful satanist.


	3. Chapter 3

Tuomas prayed for her every day. That this poor woman would come to her senses. Something terrible must have happened to her ... Tuomas didn't say anything against her gothic style. Not at all, it fascinated him even, what disturbed him was the fact that she showed her body around like this. With how many men she must have slept already? Tuomas didn't want to know. She should be careful, maybe she was already ill. Whores usually didn't use protection.  
Tuomas stood up and straightened his robe.  
He had also prayed to forget her. Forget her looks, in front of all, her green eyes which made him lay awake at night. Her lips, her smile, her body. Her sassy behaviour.   
Why couldn't he stop thinking about her?

Tarja also lay awake the following nights.  
Why did fighting ... or ... sassing with him make her guts squirm? It was exciting. She loved to tease him more than teasing anyone else. But why?  
Why, why, why?  
"Because I ... like him," Tarja mumbled. And shook her head.  
It was absurd.

Her newest outfit was daring.  
It was black and white and looked a lot like the outfit of a nun. Only that the upper part of it was transparent. Too transparent.  
Tarja put a black bandeau beneath it. Now her breasts were covered but she still looked like a slutty nun. She put on the veil and grinned.  
A slutty nun.  
This would make him livid.  
But Tarja had a problem.  
Emppu was still in Savonlinna. Satu was ill. Jukka was taking care of her. Who could take pictures?

"Thanks for saying yes, Marco."  
Marco grinned. "Always, babe. You look hot, oh my fucking God. Do you want to make out later?"  
"Nope," Tarja replied.  
"You want more? The car is big enough to -"  
"No, Marco!" Tarja called. "Stop it already. You're not my type."  
Marco nodded. "Yes, I know. I'm only making fun. Sorry."

Tarja positioned herself on the tomb stone.  
She knew it was wrong and she felt really, really bad but she needed to. She needed to make him rage.  
"Sorry, Juha," she mumbled. "Thanks for lending me your tomb."  
"They're dead, Tarja. They don't care." Marco lifted the camera. "Damn. What a sexy ass."  
Tarja rolled her eyes and posed.  
As she heard a sudden scream. "What are you doing??"  
Tarja's heart started racing. It was him. Again. He really had nothing else to do than sitting in the church.  
"Grab my ass!" Tarja hissed and Marco obeyed.  
He grabbed her butt cheeks and squeezed them, pushed himself between her legs.  
"Hey! Are you fucking crazy?!"  
Tarja enjoyed that she was making him swear. She grabbed Marco's collar.  
"Oh yes... yes!" She moaned. "Bring me there again, oh God ... oh my God!"  
She used God's name again. Tuomas felt furious. Was this man fingering her on a tomb stone???  
From his sight it looked like it. "Get away from here! You fucking whore! Don't ever show up here again! Dirty slut!"  
Tarja grabbed Marco's shoulders and pulled herself up so she could look at the priest.   
"Oh! You here again! Came again to have a little sneak peek? I'm still not going to tell you my name though."  
"Filthy whore!" Tuomas called furiously. "Get off the tomb, take your friend and go! I'll call the police, I mean it!"  
"Oh yes?" Tarja pushed Marco away and jumped off the tomb. Tuomas was speechless.  
"What are you - wearing?!"  
"Uhm - a nun outfit?" Tarja smiled innocently.  
"A - oh no. No no no. Whatever this is -" Tuomas was pale. He knew that Tarja was portraying a nun indeed. "This is disgraceful. You're making nuns look like sexual objects and they're anything but that!"  
"Don't pretend to be so innocent, mister," Tarja spat. "There's no way that nuns and priests are abstinent. If I was a priest, oh, I'd fuck all my nuns more than once a day."  
Tuomas was shocked. "How dare you - you don't know anything about me. I have never done such a thing. I'm not like you. I bet you sleep around and you've probably slept with everyone, both men and women. You, young woman, are a disgusting human and should be ashamed of yourself."  
"You don't know anything about me! So stop calling me a slut and a whore! Fucking God!" Tarja clenched her fists.  
"I'll stop calling you a whore the day you dress normal and stop raping God's name," Tuomas replied as calm as possible and Tarja smiled scoffing.  
"That's not gonna happen," she replied coldly.  
"Then you are banned, young lady. I never want to see you again, neither in the church, nor at the graveyard. And you can forget the woods as well."  
"Fine," Tarja said and threw her head back. "Very fine. Marco? We'll have sex in the car." And with those words she turned around and walked away. Marco followed her wordlessly.

Marco started the car without a word. Tarja had been afraid she would have to fulfill her threat about having sex in the car, but Marco obviously knew that it had been a joke.  
"Okay," he said instead. "What was that?"  
"What was what?" Tarja asked weakly.  
"You and that priest?" Marco continued. "The air between you is throwing out sparks. I could see them."  
"No, not really. We hate each other."  
"Hate," Marco snorted. "If that thing between you is hate, I'm father Christmas."  
Tarja was quiet for a while, then she closed her eyes. "I tried to suppress it but ... I like him. Really like him. But he's a priest, it will never work out."  
"Why do you tease him like that?"  
"I want to make him notice me," Tarja mumbled and Marco nodded.  
"Let me tell you that he already did."  
"But he hates me..."  
Marco shrugged. "To be honest, I don't think so. You should try to find out in a different way."  
Tarja looked at Marco. He was a good listener. He had never seemed like one, but then again, they had never been alone before. "How?"  
"Talk to him. Tell him you're a model."  
"Who sleeps around."  
"Oh come on. You know that whores certainly don't look as you do." Marco smiled as he stopped in front of Tarja's house. "Do you have a coat?"  
Tarja nodded and took her coat.  
"Great. Wanna make out?"  
Tarja laughed. "Dream on, Marco." But then she kissed his cheek quickly. "Thanks for escorting me and listening to me," she said and left the car.

Tuomas ran his hand through his hair. He was clueless about what to do with her. He didn't admit that he found her fascinating, not even to himself. She was daring. She was sassy. She was sure of herself.  
She was... fascinating.  
If she would come to church the next day?  
Tuomas doubted it, after all he had forbidden her to come here again.  
But then again, had she ever cared about bans before? She definitely didn't act like it.   
He simply couldn't stop thinking about her.

"Where have you been this time?" Marjatta's face spoke pure horror. "And why are you dressed like for Halloween?"  
"Photoshooting," Tarja answered. "Sorry. Took longer than I thought."  
Marjatta nodded. "Church will start at eight tomorrow," she said, hoping that her daughter was coming to senses after all. But to her disappointment, the girl laughed.  
"I can't go. The priest banned me from church."   
Silence. Then -  
"What???"  
Tarja backed away as Marjatta tried to grab her arm.   
"He threw me out, I'm not allowed to get close to the church. Even the graveyard is taboo.  
"Tarja!" Marjatta groaned. "Oh, girl, what did you do!?"  
"Photoshooting," Tarja explained again.  
And suddenly Marjatta understood.   
"In this outfit??"  
Tarja nodded. "What's bad about it?"  
"You look like a slutty nun! Of course he banned you! Are you totally insane??"  
"What's worse, that nun outfit or a turned cross around my neck?"  
Marjatta was speechless. "Y-you -!?"  
"He tore the necklace off. It's broken," Tarja said sadly. "Then he called me a ... witch and I ran away."  
She couldn't tell her parents that he had called her a whore and a slut.  
"Oh Tarja..." Marjatta sighed again. "Your father will be furious."  
"No he won't. He won't find out." And Tarja turned around and jumped upstairs. She was both excited and scared about what she had done.

Tarja didn't come to the Sunday mass.  
Tuomas was both relieved and disappointed as he saw the Turunens without her; relieved because she had listened to him, disappointed because he had wanted to see her again. Her face didn't leave his mind. Her eyes haunted his sleep. He was sure she was a witch, never had a woman haunted him like this. Or maybe ...  
Tuomas didn't dare to think the forbidden.  
He didn't look at the Turunens during the mass and the holy sacrament, but as Mrs Turunen came directly to him after the mass, he couldn't simply run away.  
"I wanted to apologise for what Tarja has done," she said quietly.  
"Tarja?" Tuomas asked but then he understood. "I mean - yes." Tarja. Her name was Tarja. What a beautiful name for this beautiful woman. Tarja ... Tarja Turunen.   
"She was disrespectful. I just wanted to apologise for her crude manners." Marjatta sunk her head. "She has always been a rebel. The way she dresses, the music she listens to, her friends ..."  
Tuomas nodded. That guy from the day before really didn't seem like a guy for her.  
Tarja. Tarja Turunen.  
Her name echoed in his head. "She's probably in that rebellious teenage age, right?" the priest chuckled.  
"If only," Marjatta replied sadly. "She's about to turn 21 in August. She's not a teenager anymore."  
Oh. She was already 21?  
"Then talking to her is an option?" Tuomas guessed. "She seems like a reasonable young lady, she will understand."  
"Talking," Marjatta snorted. "I gave up talking to her a long time ago."  
"Could I talk to her?" Tuomas asked and Marjatta bit her lip.   
"Actually - yes. But ... she won't be happy about it."  
"I can see she doesn't like me," Tuomas said. "But she needs to stop doing what she does. It's not healthy."  
Marjatta looked at him. Slowly she started to think that he knew more about her daughter than she did.  
"Well, she'll return to Savonlinna today, she's studying music there. I can't say if she's going to come home on Saturday. Probably."  
'Music. She's studying music.' Tuomas' heartbeat fastened. "She's a music lover?"  
"Very. She plays the piano and she sings. Very good. She's so good but she wants to be a gothic model." Marjatta shook her head and laughed. "I always told her to follow her dream. I guess this was a mistake."  
Tuomas smiled. "Not at all." 'She plays the piano and she sings ...'  
"Well, her dream is obviously to be a goth and sing in a metal band. I'm just not sure if I should find that good."  
Tuomas' mind was turning. He and Tarja had something in common:  
Music. Metal music.  
He wondered which genre she listened to. Gothic? Probably. His hands were shaking.  
"Shall I try to talk to her? Maybe she just needs someone to talk to"  
Marjatta sighed. "You can try. What if you come over on Saturday? She mostly arrives around two in the afternoon. You could come and wait for her."  
"That sounds nice," Tuomas commented. He would see her. He would see her at home, in her casual outfit. Hopefully.

Tuomas felt bad for wanting to see her but he couldn't help it.  
Her face was always present, her voice was echoing in his mind. Her name suddenly stood everywhere. No matter where he looked.  
He was cooking dinner as he suddenly had to close his eyes. A daydream started to form in front of his eyes ...  
He was cooking as a hand touched his ... a soft, small hand with long, black nails.   
"Can I help you?" a gentle voice asked.  
He smiled at her. She was so beautiful.  
"You could stir," he suggested and she took the spoon from him.  
He placed his hands on her waist, stroke her black hair away and kissed her neck. Her tattoo. Her shoulder. Her throat. "My beautiful Tarja," he whispered and Tarja looked at him with big, green eyes.  
"I love you, Tuomas," she said gently and their lips met.  
Tuomas opened his eyes and buried his face in his hands.  
Oh, what had he done? He had fallen for someone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Guys? I think I'm in love," Tarja announced during the lunch break.  
"No? Really?!" Emppu called sarcastically and earned a slap on his arm. "Ouch!"  
"And who's the lucky guy?" Sirja asked and stretched her face into the sun. Since the sun was shining, they were outside and enjoying the rare beautiful weather.  
"Uhm... his name's Tuomas," Tarja mumbled and blushed.   
"Awww Tarja and Tuomas!" Sirja called and beamed at her friend. "And? Does he like you too?"  
"No," said Tarja but Emppu answered with a "Yes".  
"Now what?"  
"He doesn't like me, Emppu," Tarja mumbled.  
"I'd understand if he didn't, considering what you're doing with him," Emppu started and Tarja looked down. "But I think he's not like those usual priests. He seems to like you, even though you posed on gravestones in a nun outfit."  
"But he banned me from church," Tarja said sadly. "He never wants to see me again."  
"I think -" Emppu started as Sirja interrupted them.  
"WHAT?!"  
The other Finns looked at their friend.  
"He's Kitee's priest," Emppu explained. Sirja stared at Tarja.   
"What??"  
"See? Whole Kitee will react like that if they find out. No, it's better that he doesn't like me." Tarja shook her head.  
"But Tarja - he's a priest!" Sirja went on. "He has to be abstinent... right?"  
"Not necessarily," Emppu threw in and Tarja shrugged.  
"Doesn't metal. He doesn't like me anyway."  
Sirja laughed. "Doesn't metal ... hey Emppu, how do you mean not necessarily?"   
"Well, not every priest is abstinent. I think the one in Savonlinna is even married."  
Tarja's heart started racing but she tried to keep a straight face.  
"It depends on how hard your connection with God is. Nuns and monks have to be abstinent for example, that's their way of living, their lifestyle. And being abstinent is their sacrifice, if you say so. But it's not the same with priests, since being a priest is a job. Being a monk or nun isn't." Emppu looked at the girls. "What?"  
"He got an A in religion," Tarja muttered.   
"Oh thank God, I already thought he wanted to become a monk," Sirja said.  
"A nun would be more accurate," Tarja countered and Emppu rolled his eyes.  
"Yes. Attack the small guy, he doesn't care."  
"Exactly." Tarja kissed Emppu's cheek and stood up. "I'll go down to the city."  
"And what about the next course?" Sirja asked.  
Tarja shrugged. "I'm sick. Lovesick."

Tarja wanted to buy new things but to her sadness the shop didn't have anything new.  
But as she went to the back of the shop, she saw something that took her breath away.  
Wings.  
Black wings.  
Huge wings. Especially for gothic photo shootings.  
"Wow..." she mumbled and walked closer.  
"Want to try them on?" the clerk asked and Tarja nodded. The punk lady helped her putting them on and Tarja looked herself into the mirror.  
She looked like a dark angel ...  
Tarja didn't even want to ask for the price. But she knew that she needed to have them.

Things he knew about her:  
Her name was Tarja Turunen.   
She was 20. She'd turn 21 in August.  
She liked metal.  
She could sing.  
She was a goth.  
She could play the piano.  
She was studying at the music college in Savonlinna.  
She wasn't ashamed of herself.  
She liked to take pictures of herself. Also nude pictures.   
She was sassy as hell.  
She was more beautiful than anything and anyone he'd ever seen:  
Her eyes were greener than the greenest meadow in spring.  
Her hair was blacker than the blackest raven.  
The shape of her face was more angular than anyone's face.  
Her lips had a beautiful shape, not really full but beautifully formed and very inviting to kiss. Tuomas would love to taste those lips. How it would be to kiss her? Her tongue was sharp, she must be a really good kisser. Passionate and sultry. Violent? Probably she'd dig her long, black nails in other's skin while making love.  
... love making. She surely was very experienced and flexible. He didn't want to know with how many men she had slept with and how often. When she had lost her virginity. If she was kinky in bed? ... of course.  
Her body was amazing. Stunning. Hot. She was slim yet curvy.  
She had the perfect size for him. He would have to lift her if he kissed her. Just a bit.  
Tuomas closed his eyes. He had been staring at the ceiling but the colour of the ceiling reminded him of Tarja's white outfit from two weeks ago. What else did he know about her?  
She slept with men a lot. For sure.  
She probably drank a lot.  
She was an atheist. He wouldn't mind that much about that fact if she wasn't showing it like she did: with wearing turned crosses and devil-outfits. Damn, she had looked hot with those horns ...  
'Forbidden, Tuomas!'  
If she did drugs? Tuomas doubted it. Same with smoking, if she really cared about her looks and her voice she certainly didn't smoke.  
Tuomas wondered about her past. Why she had turned into a gothic girl.  
Tuomas rubbed his eyes. Suddenly her face had formed in front of him and it seemed as if she was staring at him.  
He couldn't stop thinking about her and after a long fight with himself, he admitted that he had fallen in love with that sassy atheist.  
Sadly she hated him.  
Of course she did, she could only hate him. He had called her a whore and she had called him a wanker. She didn't stop teasing him, didn't stop throwing insults at him.  
And he hated himself for enjoying it.  
Tuomas suddenly felt like drinking, something he wasn't allowed to do either. For real? He had never wanted to drink before but she made him consider it. She wasn't good for him.  
She was a sin. She was his sin.

"What ... is this?" Marjatta asked in shock.   
"My wings. Like them?" Tarja grinned.  
Her mother could only stare. "How much did they cost?"  
"Quite a lot but don't worry, I'll pay them back. You know that I got the summer job again."  
Marjatta groaned. "Who lent you money??"  
"Emppu and Sirja."  
"Alright," Marjatta muttered. "Don't you want to come in?"  
"No, sorry. I just wanted to drop my things off. I have a date with Satu, she wants to take new pictures. I'm going to look like a blackbird! Or like a raven. That's even better. Or a dark angel. We don't know yet."  
Tarja was so excited that Marjatta actually had to smile. He daughter was cute, in a strange way she was really cute.  
"Sorry. I think you heard it," Marjatta apologised as she returned to the living room.  
"I heard it," Tuomas said and stood up. "Do you want me to leave my number? So you can call me as soon as she returns? Then I could come over quickly."  
"Yes, we could do that," Marjatta replied and Tuomas typed his number into her phone.  
"Okay. Then I'll drive home. Thanks for the coffee," Tuomas nodded at her.  
"You're welcome, father Tuomas."  
"Only Tuomas, really," Tuomas offered with a light smile. Why did it hurt when she called him father Tuomas?  
Of course he knew the answer. She reminded him of the fact that he was a priest, while he was head over heels in love with her young daughter.  
... she had bought black wings? He needed to see them.  
As he got into his car, which he had parked a hundred metres away, he decided to look for her. He needed to see her.  
So he drove into the direction of the church. Something told him that she was there ...

"You're crazy," Satu complained. "He banned you!"  
"Pf, that motherfucker," Tarja mumbled.  
"Oh come on, you told Emppu that you love him." Satu rolled her eyes at her friend.  
"Yes. But." Tarja raised her hand. "He's still a motherfucker."  
Satu laughed and lifted her camera. "Say that again," she said and pressed record.  
"Tuomas Holo-fuck-inen," Tarja started. "You fucking motherfucker. See that? I'm here, I'm at - oh my FUCKING GOD, I'm at your land! And guess what - I'm going to have sex with Satu here."  
"Tarja!" Satu called and laughed loudly.  
"Asshole," Tarja said and raised her middle finger, showing it into the camera. "You're quite a nice guy but you're a priest so... I hate you. Sorry."  
"Liar," Satu sing-songed and pressed stop. "You love him."  
"Yes. I love him." Tarja sighed and then she laughed. "Imagine me with the priest."  
Satu laughed. "How old is he even?"  
"Twenty-five. And his birthday is on December 25th," Tarja said immediately and Satu stared at her.  
"Did you stalk him?"  
"Emppu did."  
"Oh." The girls giggled and then Satu grew serious again. "Actually ... you'd look good with him. I think he's really sweet. And that he'd treat his girlfriend wonderfully."  
"Girlfriend?" Tarja sighed. "What if he wants to stay... well. You know."  
Satu knew what she meant. 

Tuomas wasn't surprised as he saw her posing in the church's garden.  
She looked amazing. Black corset, black skirt ... the black wings. They looked amazing.   
He went closer to them. And this time no one noticed him until he entered the garden.  
"Hello."  
Satu and Tarja winced. 

He looked very handsome as always. Tarja couldn't hide a blush when she noticed that he was only looking at her. She knew it was because of the wings.  
"Nice wings," he said and Tarja smiled lightly.   
"Well ... thanks."  
Silence.  
"Aren't you going to throw out something really vile?" Tuomas asked and Tarja thanked fate.  
"Oh I would ... but I can't lift you," she countered.  
Satu pressed a hand on her mouth.  
"Oh, you're very funny," Tuomas chuckled. "That was a good one."  
"Really?" Tarja smiled.  
Tuomas nodded. "Do you still want to take pictures inside?"  
"Inside of the church??" Tarja asked. "Yes!!"  
"Then follow me," Tuomas said and turned around.  
The girls exchanged a surprised and amused look.

Tuomas watched them.  
He had used the excuse that he needed to watch them because they weren't allowed to touch certain things, but in real he only wanted to watch her.  
She was leaning against the altar.  
Leaning back.  
Almost lying on the altar.  
Now she was lying on the altar.  
She put her hands behind her head and arched her back, pressed her chest up.  
Tuomas had a clear sight at her cleavage.  
She sat up again and curled into an embryo position. Now she looked like a black, feathery ball. Slowly she pulled herself out of that ball, slowly, with Satu taking pictures of every movement.  
As she was done, she pressed her shoulders back, leaned her head back, put her arms back.  
Tuomas couldn't help it - he felt aroused.  
He felt filthy. He was a priest, he was inside of his church. And he was staring at Tarja, who was dressed like a gothic angel.  
Tuomas had never thought that he liked this style.   
"Done," Satu decided and smiled at her camera. "Wow, they're awesome!"  
Tuomas clapped his hands and Tarja looked at him.  
"Wonderful," he said and came closer. "Well done. I really enjoyed it. It was like a live show." He felt proud as he saw that Tarja's cheeks went pink.  
"Thanks," she said with a strangely high pitched voice. Then she cleared her throat. "Let's go, Satu?"  
Satu nodded and went past them. She was still looking at her camera.   
They were almost at the door, as Tuomas called her name.  
"Tarja?"  
Tarja twirled around. He had called her name. He knew her name. He had said her name, he had said her name!  
Her heart was racing. Her name sounded like something special out of his mouth.   
"Yes?"  
"You're not banned anymore."  
Tarja touched an imaginary hat and vanished out of the church.  
"He called my name," she whispered and jumped excitedly. 

Meanwhile Tuomas picked up a feather that her wings had lost.   
A feather of her angel wings ...


	5. Chapter 5

Tarja didn't return for the night so Tuomas wasted his time with waiting for Marjatta's call. But he didn't care as much as he had thought he would. He had seen her. He had even watched their photo shooting. He had seen her sprawling on his altar ...  
Tuomas was excited. She had talked to him in a normal way, maybe she didn't hate him after all?

"One more round!" Tarja growled and let her shot glass crash on the table.  
"Cut it short, Tar!" Emppu shouted. "You're going to drive back to Savonlinna tomorrow!"  
"Oh dammit! Too bad!" Tarja screeched and knocked back another shot. "He doesn't hate me! He fucking doesn't hate me!"  
"Of course he doesn't!" Satu shouted back. "He fucking loves you!"  
"He definitely has the hots for you!" Marco roared.  
"And I don't even know him!" Jukka laughed. "Baby, should I know him?" He pulled Satu close.  
"Oh, definitely," Satu said. "He's perfect for Tari."  
Emppu agreed. But as Tarja offered another round, he declined. 

Tarja woke up with the worst headache - and in someone's bed.  
"Fuck..." she cursed and sat up. She looked around.  
Where was she??  
"Morning, princess."  
Tarja screeched as she spotted Marco next to her. With a horrified suspicion she eyed her body. She was fully dressed.  
"Did we -?"  
"No, we didn't," Marco replied. "You were drunk as fuck, almost dead, so I wanted to drive you home. But it was locked and you didn't have keys. So I drove you to my apartment. Sorry, I don't have a guest bed and the couch isn't uncomfortable."  
"Did you touch me?? Tell me the truth." Tarja knew he liked to grab her ass. What if he had grabbed her boobs while she was unconscious? Or worse??  
Marco was shocked. "Of course not! You talked... or rather slurred about Tuomas all the time anyway. I couldn't bring myself to touch you."  
Tarja rolled her eyes. "Anyway. Thanks for letting me sleep here. Could you bring me home too?"

"You look horrible," her father greeted her.  
Tarja mumbled something and strolled past him.  
"She's back," Teuvo said to his wife. "And she ... smells like a man."  
"Oh." Marjatta wasn't sure about what to do. "Well, she's old enough, right?"  
Teuvo didn't say anything. 

"She's back?" Tuomas was relieved. "Good. How is she...?" He hoped he didn't sound too nosy. Or even obsessed.  
"She has quite a huge hangover," Marjatta replied. "Maybe you better talk to her next weekend. I think she had quite an ... exhausting night."  
Tuomas closed his eyes. She sounded displeased.  
"Glad she came home safe."  
"Yes. That guy Marco brought her home this morning."  
Tuomas' heart broke. Exhausting night. Marco.  
He couldn't believe that Tarja would be such a girl. She really didn't seemed like it ... or maybe he was totally wrong about her. Maybe she was immune against his prayers. And maybe she was a good actress ...  
Then the whole scene he had seen the day before would have been a fake. When she had smiled at him, when she had been nice to him.  
Tuomas took the feather and let it run along his thigh absently.  
"What do you say, father Tuomas?"  
Tuomas was pulled back to reality.   
"Pardon?"  
"About a young girl like her having a boyfriend. Or a ... male friend to uhm ... sin."  
"Having a boyfriend is not a sin," Tuomas replied. "And there's a limit for sinning as well. As long as she doesn't do it too frequently or ... with many different men ..."  
"I think you should talk to her," Marjatta said again. "You're young but you're a person of authority. I think she'd listen to you. More than she would listen to me."  
"I'll be there next Saturday," Tuomas promised and Marjatta on the other line smiled.   
"Thanks a lot."  
They hung up.  
Tuomas leaned back, trying to calm his aching heart.  
She wasn't sleeping around ... she wasn't. She couldn't be. He was in love with her, she must be a good girl deep inside ...

But the good girl was sleeping deep inside of Tarja.  
Tarja and Emppu snuck themselves away on Thursday to go to a metal festival that was close.  
Saturday they returned, Emppu had a new jacket, Tarja a new tattoo on the side of her body and a piercing through her nipple. She had been really, really drunk. She decided to get rid of it soon.  
She was suffering from pains, so Emppu drove. He couldn't stop laughing.  
"A nipple piercing ... my God, Tarja. You were high."  
"I wasn't high," Tarja groaned. "Oh God, please shoot me ... I want to die."  
"HAHA I bet my face was amazing when you told me you'd get a nipple - a nipple piercing!" The small man almost died of laughter. "Seriously, can you get any more stupid?! First you get wasted, then you make out with a stranger, then you get a tattoo, make out with the next stranger and then you get a nipple piercing! And then you make out with another stranger. And I'm not sure if he or she was a man or a woman. Probably both."  
"Please don't tell anyone," Tarja groaned. "I'm dead, Emp, I'm so dead."  
"Oh yes," Emppu chuckled and stopped the car. "I won't tell anyone. Now get out and tell your mother that you got a fucking NIPPLE PIERCING."  
Tarja rolled her eyes and got outside. "See you later."  
"No. We're not going out tonight, my dear. You get a rest."  
Tarja smiled. "Thanks."

Inside of the house she needed to check on the piercing first. Why did the inside of her corset feel warm and wet?  
She checked that no one was close and pulled her corset away to look and the her boob. And really. Her nipple was bleeding.  
"Fuck ..." Tarja whispered. "I'm bleeding, fuck, I'm bleeding ..."  
"Tarja?"  
Tarja screeched and pressed her hand on her corset. Sadly her palm pressed directly on the piercing and she paled.  
Or did she pale because it was Tuomas who stood there and stared at her?

"What - are - you doing here?!" Tarja gasped.  
She was holding her breast as if she was afraid that it would fall down.  
"Your mother invited me," Tuomas said calmly. "She wants me to talk to you."  
"Where is she?" Tarja asked and let go of her breast.  
"Upstairs," Tuomas answered and Tarja went past him.  
"I'll kill her," she muttered.  
"Don't do one of the ten commandments," Tuomas warned. "Or - don't do another one of them."  
Tarja stopped walking and slowly turned around.  
"Are you hinting ...?"  
"You shall not kill, you shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Does that ring a bell?"  
Tarja clenched her fists. "You shall not commit adultery?" she whispered. She knew he thought she was a slut so why not? Even though she wasn't married or in a relationship, for that matter. It meant the same.

Tuomas knew that he had done something wrong.  
Her face grew red and her hands started shaking.   
"Go," she said calmly. Calmly, yes, but her voice held a tune he didn't like. "Leave my house. Get out of here."  
"Let's try to talk a little," Tuomas offered but Tarja shook her head.  
"I don't want you inside of here."  
"Okay. I wouldn't force you to something you don't want," Tuomas said quietly and stepped back. "My pleasure, miss Turunen."  
Tarja said nothing so he left the house. He was clueless.  
Was she angry because of that "You shall not commit adultery"?  
As if she didn't know that she was sleeping around.  
He was clueless.

"How could you?"  
Marjatta looked up from her book. "How could I what?"  
"Let that... motherfucker into our house!"  
"Tarja!" Marjatta gasped. "How dare you saying such things about father Tuomas?"  
"I tell how I dare: he called me a slut."  
Marjatta sat up. "What?? I - I thought he called you a witch."  
"Witch, slut and whore."  
"Tarja!" Marjatta called. She was shocked. "I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me??"  
"I don't know. I thought you'd think I was lying ..."  
"I know that you can't lie," Marjatta simply answered. "Oh Tari, baby ..."  
"He's an asshole. Don't ever invite him again," Tarja mumbled.  
"I won't," her mother promised and stood up to hug Tarja. She pressed her daughter's upper body against hers and ignored the mumbled "Ouch".  
Until she pulled away and noticed the bloody stain on Tarja's corset.  
"What's that?"  
"Gotta go." Tarja tried to flee but her mother grabbed her arm.  
"Tarja!"  
"I - uh - got a nipple piercing."  
Marjatta stared at Tarja. And then she started laughing.   
"No, really!" Tarja said, laughing as well. "And a new tattoo at the side of my upper body."  
Marjatta calmed down. "What?"  
"A tree. Without leaves."  
"You're crazy."  
"I know."  
There was a fondness in her mother's eyes, a fondness that Tarja hadn't seen in years.  
"I'll go to bed now, I'm still done."  
"Okay," Marjatta replied and Tarja was relieved that she hadn't asked her why she was done.  
It was true. Tarja couldn't lie.

Tuomas drove back home. He had really fucked it up, hadn't he? His only chance to see her from close, talk to her on the level of two adults... he could forget that now. He was sure she would not come to the Sunday mass the day after.

"You threw him out? Really?" Satu was speechless. "And now?"  
Tarja shrugged. "Leave him behind. Forget him. Find a boyfriend and never think of him again." She sniffed. She knew it'd be hard.  
"Wow ... so no daring photo shoots anymore," Satu said sadly but Tarja grinned.  
"Who knows? As soon as the piercing is healed, we can take nude pictures again."  
"Wow - Emppu didn't lie!" Satu called and laughed madly. "Tarja got a nipple piercing!"  
"Just disinfected it. It hurts as fuck. Maybe I'll put it out."  
"Ew." Satu shook herself. "Were you high?"  
"Just too drunk," Tarja sighed.  
"With what did you disinfect it?"  
"Salmiakki," Tarja joked and she and Satu laughed.   
And then grew serious again  
"Alright. Let's watch a movie?" Satu asked. She knew that she needed something go get on other thoughts. 

Tuomas took a walk along the lake shore. She was banned from the church ground, where would she hold the photo shootings now? Tuomas hoped here. But no one was neither in the nor at the lake. He walked back, still asking himself about what he could do. Now she thought that he really thought she was a slut.  
He massaged his temples. How could he insult the woman he loved? He cursed himself over and over. She would never like him, never. He had fucked it up.  
"Oh what did you do ..." he sighed. Then he made up another daydream ...  
The doorbell was ringing. Who could this be, so late at night?  
He stood up and walked to the door, carefully opening it.  
"We need to talk," Tarja said and went past him.  
"Okay?" Tuomas asked. He was shocked. She didn't hate him - why else would she be here?  
"What do we have to talk about?"  
"About us." Tarja turned and looked at him. "You treat me like shit and I treat you like shit. But deep inside we both know that there's a deep connection slumbering ..." she stepped closer. "Do you also feel it?" Her look was begging.  
"Yes." Tuomas took her hand. "I've fallen for you madly."  
"Good," Tarja breathed and got on her tiptoes to kiss him.  
Tuomas sighed and opened his eyes. How deep had he sunken?

The next day, a Sunday, he tried to make eye contact with Marjatta all the time. But she didn't even look at him once and she didn't stand up for the holy sacrament. What was wrong?  
Luckily she came to him after the mass.  
"Marjatta," Tuomas greeted the women. "Good to see you. How's Tarja?"  
"You actually care?" Marjatta said surprised. "After all the things you called her?"  
Tuomas was shocked. She had told her mother??  
"Did she also tell you what she called me?" he asked. He refused to use this word in God's house.  
"Well, whatever it was - she must have had a good reason." Marjatta seemed angry at the priest. "Listen, yes, my daughter is different. She's a rebellious gothic-atheist or whatever but she's still my daughter and I will love and defend her until death. You better be careful."  
Tuomas stared after her as she walked out.   
It was senseless. Tarja hated him.


	6. Chapter 6

"You ... really said that?"  
Tarja's heart was swelling.  
"Yes. No one calls my daughter a whore." Marjatta smiled at her daughter. "By the way, what did you call him?"  
"I - uh - called him a wanker."  
"Oh, Tari," Marjatta sighed.  
"Sorry," Tarja mumbled and excused herself. She needed to call Emppu.

Later that they, the friends met. They met at the Kiteenjärvi, their second choice to shoot pictures.  
Tarja had decided to shoot more nude pictures and Emppu was the perfect photographer for them.  
She waded into the water, the wings on her back. The piercing had stopped bleeding too.  
She was only wearing tight, black leggings and a necklace. The turned cross.  
She had put it on a choker since Tuomas had destroyed the necklace.  
"You look hot," Emppu mumbled.  
Almost naked Tarja, the tattoos clearly visible, black wings, the choker, the piercings and loads of black make up. Her hair hung down loosely.   
"I hope for Tuomas to walk by and see me," Tarja mumbled as she tried different poses.  
"Shall I call him?" Emppu joked.

Tarja's wish got fulfilled.  
Tuomas was taking another walk as he saw two people, one of them posing in the lake. There was no question that it wasn't Tarja, she was wearing her black wings.  
He didn't know what to do, walk closer? Go away? He was torn. If he walked closer, she would probably start a fight again. If he walked away, she wouldn't know he had been there.   
Tuomas stepped closer. He wanted to see her. He wanted her to start a fight. He wanted to see her beautiful face and hear her beautiful voice. Even if she threw bad words at him.  
But as he slowly walked closer ... he noticed that she was naked. Again!  
"Hey! That's an open place! Are you crazy!?" he shouted.  
"Are you a peeper?!" Tarja threw back over her shoulder and covered her breasts. "Why do you always follow me??"  
Tuomas walked closer. "Could you please get out of here? No one wants to see you naked."  
"Says you," Tarja countered.  
Tuomas tore his eyes away. Damn, that girl had tattoos almost everywhere.  
"I had a talk with your mother today," he said.  
"Yeah, she doesn't want us to meet again. I was here first, so please go."  
"Tarja ... give me another chance. I want to talk to you, really."  
Tarja didn't say anything. He had definitely checked her out.  
"Please go," Emppu suddenly said. "She feels really uncomfortable."  
"But you're here too," Tuomas said and Emppu blushed a little.  
"Yes ... but ... ehm ..."  
"He's gay," Tarja answered instead of Emppu, knowing that this would make him go away.  
But it didn't.   
"Okay, that explains it," the priest only said. He didn't even move a muscle.  
"Please," Tarja said. "Leave. We'll be done soon and then we'll leave as well."  
"I'm going to leave as soon as you've agreed to talk to me," Tuomas pleaded. "Please. Forgive me."  
Tarja held her chin high. "I might forgive you one day but I'll never forget. Okay. We'll talk. I will come to you. Now leave."

"I will come to you."  
Tuomas had no idea what she had meant with it. When would she come to him? Where to?  
I will come to you.  
If she would come to his home?  
Tuomas doubted it but he wouldn't annoy her. He respected her and he knew that, if she really wanted to talk to him, she also would really come to him.   
Of course she didn't 'come to him' that Sunday. So he waited.

Tarja drove back to Savonlinna. Her pictures had turned out to be amazing! She didn't look like herself but she looked so good. Those would be really useful.  
College was good this week. They did more for her voice than ever and finally Tarja knew why she had wanted to study music.  
At the campus she and Sirja trained their voices everyday. They had a little room in the home and their home had even a small studio. Tarja and Sirja were allowed to record every Tuesday for an hour.  
Tarja was by far the best singer of her year and some people did everything to get trained by her. Tarja had already wanted to ask for money to train them, but then she decided that she couldn't do it. She gave singing lessons for around six people every Wednesday. She loved it, showing the people how great she was and telling them what they did wrong. Only once she had seen a talent in her group whom she told that she didn't have to come anymore.   
Tarja wasn't a popular girl at college but also she wasn't hated. For some people she was Tarja, for others she was "the silent goth girl". Tarja was glad about how it was at the moment. She had been bullied at middle and high school so she was really glad about her current status. She had been "the weird girl". "The ugly girl". "The girl who thinks she's a good singer". And later - "the weird goth with the ugly tattoo".  
But lately she had gotten a new status.  
"The sad goth".

"Why are you so sad?" a girl of her class asked one day.  
Tarja tried to remember her name but she didn't.   
"I'm not sad," she replied.  
"You are ... I know when people are sad. What happened?"  
"Ah." Tarja shrugged. "Lovesickness sucks."  
"Oh." The girl smiled apologetically. "It will go over."  
Tarja hoped so.  
And she didn't return back to Kitee that weekend, she stayed and got wasted with her friends.  
A guy started to dance with her, but as he wanted to kiss her, she declined.  
"Sorry. I have a boyfriend."  
"Is he here?" the guy asked.  
"No but I love him," Tarja said, pushed him away and left the club.  
Sirja followed her.  
She was leaning against the bus stop, breathing heavily.  
"Wow ... you really love him?" she asked and Tarja nodded.   
"Fuck. Yes. I love him."

Tuomas was looking for her. He needed to see her face, so he typed her college into the searching engine. He thought he was going crazy without her.  
He actually found pictures from the year before.  
And he really found her, in the second year already. So she was in her third year now...  
Tuomas stroke over her face. And over her name.  
Turunen, Tarja S. S.  
He wondered about those to S. What did they stand for? Saara? Sofia? Sandra?  
Oh he was lovesick. He had never been lovesick before ...

On Friday Tarja got ill. She couldn't stop coughing, so singing was out of question. And as the doctor came to the campus and told her that she wasn't allowed to go to college for the whole next week, she decided to drive home.  
So Emppu drove her to Kitee on Saturday.   
"Take care of her, she's ill," the tiny man told Marjatta, who thanked Emppu for bringing her daughter home.  
Then Marjatta put her arm around her daughter's shoulders and led her upstairs.  
Tarja slept for a whole day. In the evening she had a high temperature. During the night she vomited.   
The next day she woke up with an upset stomach and nausea washing over her.  
Marjatta closed the door. "Are you pregnant?"  
"What? No, mum."  
"Well, it can be possible."  
Tarja avoided her mother's look. "It cannot be possible," she mumbled.  
"Just asking," Marjatta mumbled. Was her beautiful, amazing and talented daughter still innocent? "I'll go to church."  
"Do that."

"How's Tarja?" Tuomas asked softly while he drew a cross on Marjatta's forehead.  
"Way better without you," she said quietly but then she sighed. "Sorry. I'm still angry at you."  
"It's okay." Tuomas' heart was breaking slowly. "So she has a good life? That's fine."  
"She's ill, actually. She'll stay at home next week."  
"Oh. Poor her. Is she taking anything?"  
"Antibiotics," the elder woman answered and turned around again.  
Tuomas felt sympathy for the girl. Should he give her flowers?  
He decided not to.

Monday.  
Tarja woke up around eleven in the morning and noticed that she already felt way better.  
She took her pill and went downstairs to eat a little. The nausea was gone, only the cough and the high temperature were still there.  
She lay down again, put her earplugs in and listened to Nirvana.  
Around one, her mother called.  
"I'll be back at four. Will you find yourself something to eat?"  
"Sure," Tarja mumbled and yawned. "I'll take a walk and buy something. Don't worry."  
Said, done. Tarja grabbed her camera to take some selfies, her money and started walking. She went to the bakery and bought something edible. Then she sat down at a bench and ate it.  
She was thinking about Tuomas.   
Thinking about talking to him.  
She checked her phone, nothing new. Only a message from Sirja, who asked if she was alright.  
Tarja took her camera and slowly walked towards the church. If she dared to go in...?  
Tarja tried to open but it was locked. She sighed.  
But suddenly someone asked, "Do you want to get inside?"

His heart almost stopped as she turned around.  
It stopped because it was Tarja. In a quite normal outfit.  
Black leggings, black dress, leather jacket. No accessories, only earrings.   
And - especially - no make up.  
She was beautiful, oh hell, she was beautiful.  
Now his heart was racing.  
"Not necessarily," she answered lightly and coughed. "I just - uh -"  
"Wanted to talk to me?"  
"Not really," said Tarja but didn't move away.  
Tuomas unlocked the church.   
"Come in. You're not wearing a turned cross today, you won't start burning."  
Tarja smiled lightly. "I have a turned cross tattooed on my skin."  
"Where?" Tuomas asked with his eyes ripped open but Tarja laughed.  
"Somewhere you'll never see it," she said and strolled past him. She went to the first bench and sat down.  
Tuomas followed her.  
"Are you fine?" he asked gently. He couldn't believe she was there. Beautiful as always. Even more beautiful.  
"I'm quite ill, so no. Not really."  
She kneaded her hands. She was nervous.  
"So - you came to me."  
"Yes." Tarja smiled shyly. "Father Tuomas -"  
"Just Tuomas."  
"Okay ... Tuomas. I wanted to ask you why you hate my style so much?"  
"I don't hate your style, Tarja. But I think you're not careful with your body and you're playing with your life. You're very pretty and you know it. Just ... be careful, okay?"  
"I am careful," Tarja mumbled. If he only knew how careful she was ... "It's just - it's no reason to call me a whore."  
"Sorry," Tuomas said and reached for her hand.  
Tarja pulled it away.  
"You'd touch a whore?"  
"Tarja - I'm sorry!" Tuomas called but suddenly the girl was back to her bitchy self.  
"Just - fucking leave me alone okay? Leave me alone, I really don't want to talk to you. I need to think."  
She expected him to be angry, but he stood up and walked away. To a bench in the back.  
"I'm here if you change your mind."  
But Tarja didn't change her mind. She'd never stop being angry at him. And at herself - for loving this idiot.   
So she stood up, walked past him and towards the exit.  
"Tarja! Wait!" Tuomas called and jumped up. And Tarja started running, but Tuomas was faster. At the door he had already grabbed her arm and pulled her close.  
Really close.  
"Let ... me go," Tarja whispered.  
"No," Tuomas whispered back. "What's your problem with me?"  
"What's your problem with me?! It's not my fault that you hate me and my style!"  
"I don't hate either of it!" Tuomas said sternly. "I love your style, it suits you very much, you're a beautiful young woman. But you throw it all away."  
Tarja's heart was about to explode. She was a beautiful woman? He loved, loved her style?  
"Let me go. I'm sick ..."  
Tuomas let her go, watched her leave.

Sadly Tarja noticed too late that she had forgotten her camera.  
For a few minutes she considered going back, but then she decided not to. She couldn't face Tuomas again. If he found the camera, he'd give it back to her. She only hoped he wouldn't look at the pictures ...

Tuomas did find her camera.  
He didn't bring it to her immediately, he knew she wouldn't be alone now. He needed to bring it when she was alone.  
He brought the camera home and put it on his shelf.  
He swore himself not to look at the pictures.


	7. Chapter 7

He looked at the pictures.  
He couldn't hold himself back. He tried so hard but - he had seen her shooting the pictures and he knew that he needed to see them.  
So he opened the camera - and first thing he saw was ...  
A beautiful selfie of a beautiful Tarja without make up. She looked quite sad.  
He went on.  
A sexy photo shoot of her and another girl kissing. He didn't know her, it wasn't Satu. It strangely turned him on ... he shook his head. It shouldn't turn him on, they were two girls, but he somehow liked it ...  
He went on. Gothic, gothic, not what he looked for.  
And then. Finally.  
The nude pictures.  
His mouth fell open.  
She ... was ... gorgeous.   
She had a beautiful body. Simply stunning. Her curves were in all the right places, her breasts had the perfect size, the most perfect size. She had a nipple piercing. Tuomas found nipple piercings ugly but on her even that looked gorgeous. Everything ugly would look good on her. If she also had a piercing in her intimate area?  
She had a tree tattooed on the side of her upper body.  
Tuomas looked for the cross but he could only find the one around her neck.  
Where would she have that tattoo? What did she say again?  
Somewhere he'd never see it ...  
Now he wanted to see it. He knew he'd love it, he would love the tattoo just as he loved her.  
He moaned quietly. He was slowly getting hard ... she looked like a dark angel. Naked. In the lake.  
She was hot. So hot. So beautiful. So gorgeous.   
He went on. Pictures of more gothic photo shoots in Savonlinna, a video. A video of Tarja singing ...  
"My God, stop that," Tarja said in the video and waved at a guy who was sitting in the middle of a circle. "I'll show you."  
And then she started singing. She only sang a gamut but it sounded amazing. Her voice was really strong and beautiful. Tuomas smiled and went on.  
The photo shoots in the church. Where Tuomas had watched.   
They had turned out to be beautiful ...  
A video.  
Tuomas pressed play and almost got a heart attack as Tarja said his name.   
"Tuomas Holo-fuck-inen. You fucking motherfucker. See that? I'm here, I'm at - oh my FUCKING GOD, I'm at your land! And guess what - I'm going to have sex with Satu here."  
Tuomas shook his head.  
"Tarja!" Satu called and laughed loudly.  
"Asshole," Tarja said and raised her middle finger, showing it into the camera. "You're quite a nice guy but you're a priest so... I hate you. Sorry." Tuomas felt as if his heart was stabbed more times than one. Not even Satu's sing-songed "Liar!" before the video stopped could bring him to other thoughts.  
Of course she hated him. Of course.  
Now he felt really bad for looking through the camera.   
He didn't notice the next pictures he looked at, Tarja in the white outfit, Tarja in the nun outfit and the devil outfit, he just switched through the camera and then shut it off.  
After thinking for a while, he knew what to do.  
He needed to apologise properly.

The next day he went to the florist and bought a big bouquet of dark red roses.  
He thought of giving it to her personally but he couldn't face her.  
Not after that video.  
He wrote a card that said Please forgive me. -T. and dropped it off on on her threshold with the camera placed on the bouquet.  
He rang the doorbell and ran away like a small boy.   
He hid behind a tree and watched the house ...  
The door opened and Tarja came out.   
She rubbed her eyes.  
His heart swelled. She was only wearing a bodysuit - her pajamas? She looked amazing in it. And she was wearing glasses. She was stunning.  
Tarja looked down and stared on the bouquet. She took the camera at first.   
And then the card.  
She read it, turned it around, shook her head.  
Then she picked the roses up and smelled at them.  
And smiled.  
Tuomas felt like jumping into the air. She looked around but obviously didn't see him, even though she was wearing glasses.  
And then she vanished inside the house.  
Tuomas waited for some minutes. Should he ring her doorbell? Should he apologise in person?  
He didn't know what to do. His hands were sweaty. She obviously hated him but she had smiled. Of course she knew that the flowers were by him.  
What should he do??

Tarja danced around the whole house. Tuomas had bought her roses! He had bought her beautiful, dark red roses!! She send a picture of them and the card to Emppu, with the caption 'Look what I got from the love of my life' and then continued jumping around. She felt way better.   
But she decided not to run after him. He was the man. He needed to woo her if he really wanted her.

Tuomas really wanted her.   
He sat at home, waiting for a call. If she wanted to call him she'd find his number in the telephone book.  
But she didn't call him.  
Why? She wasn't angry, she hadn't looked angry.  
He groaned. Another daydream was forming in front of his eyes and he closed them ...  
The phone was ringing.  
Excitedly he picked up. "Holopainen?"  
"Tuomas," he heard a moan. "It's me ..."  
"Are you okay?"  
"Mh... kind of ... I just can't find the right spot... I need your help here ..."  
"What are you doing?" Tuomas asked shocked and Tarja moaned again.  
"I'm fingering myself ... but I think your fingers inside of me will bring me there faster... could you come over?"  
"Yes ..." Tuomas mumbled and opened his eyes.  
Noticed that his hand lay over his hardened cock.  
... no.  
He couldn't do it. He wouldn't. He'd wait the rest of the day and if she didn't call, he'd visit her the next day.

Tarja kept her promise that she wouldn't call or visit him. And she didn't do either of it, she was a strong woman.  
At night her mother returned and asked how she felt.  
"Much better. Maybe I can return on Thursday or so."  
"Oh no, you're still taking antibiotics. You won't return this week. The doctor prescribed you bed rest."  
Tarja sighed but didn't complain.

Tuomas couldn't sleep. He was too excited. He had thought about it and he had decided following:  
Tarja was sleeping around a lot.  
She wasn't innocent at all and she didn't care with whom she slept. She had slept with that Marco, with her blonde friend from the photo shoot (even though he was gay?), with Satu (?), with many many more. If she also slept with older men around 50? Tuomas didn't doubt it.  
But fact was - if she was ready to sleep with anyone, she would also sleep with him. A priest.

Wednesday.  
Ten in the morning.  
Tuomas wondered if she was still asleep, but then he decided to just ring.  
And she almost immediately opened.  
His heart stopped once again, she was too beautiful.  
Her hair seemed freshly washed, it was still wet.  
She was - again - without make up and in that black bodysuit. She didn't wear glasses this time.  
And she blushed as she saw him.  
"Good morning," Tuomas breathed. "Can I say that you look stunning today?"  
Tarja blushed even more. "Are you serious?"  
Tuomas nodded. "You got my flowers ..."  
"Yes, they are beautiful. I love roses."  
"Of course you do," Tuomas mumbled and looked at the floor.  
She was barefoot. Her feet were small and really sweet. She had beautiful toes, such as she had beautiful fingers.  
"Come in." Tarja stepped aside.  
"Really?" Tuomas asked and looked at Tarja, who nodded. And Tuomas stepped in. His burning desire went worse as he watched her lock the door. Under this suit, his naked goddess was slumbering.   
"Want a coffee? Or ... juice? Water?"  
'I want you,' Tuomas thought but croaked "Water would be nice."  
Then he watched her preparing the water.  
And when she gave it to him, he took her hand.  
"Did you forgive me?" he whispered and locked their eyes.

Tarja almost melted. His eyes were so beautiful. The blue was beautiful. And he was looking at her with such a begging look.  
Tarja smiled. "Well ... kind of. Not completely yet. You need to do something for me first."  
"What?" Tuomas whispered. "I'll do everything."  
Tarja smiled. "Find it out."  
Tuomas closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again.  
"Tarja," he mumbled and suddenly his voice sounded raw. Tarja's heart jumped and a strange feeling went straight to her core.  
"Yes?"  
"Would you... would you have sex with a priest?"  
Tarja couldn't believe her ears.  
Her heart started fluttering and her knees went wobbly. Was he suggesting what she was thinking? For real??  
"Well - not really. Only with one," she whispered and Tuomas' eyes went dark. "Would you have sex with a whore?" she asked quietly.  
"No," Tuomas mumbled and Tarja's face fell. But then he cupped her face. "But ... you are no whore. Ask another question. A new try ..."  
Tarja swallowed. "Would you ... would you have sex with ... me?"  
Tuomas stroke her cheek and nodded.

Her arms were shaking as she slung them around him.  
His hands slid under her thighs, lifting her up. Her body was pressed against his, their faces were close. Their noses touched.  
Tuomas carefully carried her to the living room and put her down on the couch. He hovered over her, only looking at her. "Why are you so beautiful?" he whispered. "You're making me so weak ..."  
"Good," Tarja whispered back and took his hand. "Are we really about to -?"  
Tuomas nodded and brought his hands to the zipper of her suit. He pulled it down, revealing her upper body. She wasn't wearing a bra.  
Tuomas bent down and kissed her belly.  
Tarja gasped quietly and closed her eyes. Tuomas was undressing her ... Tuomas, the priest, was kissing her ...  
And then he was above her. "Can I kiss you, my beauty?" he asked gently and Tarja pulled him down, locking their lips.  
It was like a million fireworks exploding in her mind.  
Their tongues touched and Tarja immediately knew that she had never felt like this while kissing someone. Never. This was real love. A feeling that went through her whole body, made her heart race, made her want more. Made her panties grow wet. She moaned and wrapped her fingers around his neck, playing with his hair.   
Tuomas inserted his hands into her suit, let them wander to her back. He stroke her shoulder blades and pushed her up a little, making her naked upper body collide with his chest. He sighed happily. His Tarja was kissing him back... she didn't hate him. She wanted to sleep with him. He had known it.  
She was a good kisser, even though she seemed shy. He had expected a hot and passionate kiss but this was way better.  
He pulled away.  
Her cheeks were flushed and she smiled at him.  
Tuomas kissed her forehead. "You're so beautiful..." he went lower, kissed her ear. "So stunning," he whispered into her ear and went lower. He kissed her jawline. "So gorgeous... so sweet... you're mine..."  
"I'm yours," Tarja breathed and grasped a pillow. He was working his way down, kissing her chest, her breasts, nipples, stomach, navel.  
"Can I undress you?"  
Tarja nodded. He was allowed to do everything with her. Everything. He was even allowed to take her virginity.  
A priest would be her first one ...  
Tarja tried not to think about it too much. He slid the suit over her shoulders, kissing her shoulders. Her tattoos. "My God, you're the most beautiful creature on earth," he mumbled into her skin. Tarja smiled proudly.  
"Oh, I am?"  
"Yes." Tuomas kissed her collarbone. "Just look at yourself..."  
"Never thought that a person like me was your type." Tarja chuckled.  
"Only you are," Tuomas mumbled and helped her feet getting out of the suit. "Only you ..."  
And then he saw the cross. It was on the backside of her thigh and only visible if he lifted her leg. From behind it would look like a normal cross, but from his perspective it looked like a turned cross indeed.   
"Somewhere I'll never see it?" he joked and Tarja chuckled.  
Then he bent down and kissed the cross. He didn't care. He loved this girl, so he loved her whole body. And he would show her how much he loved her.


	8. Chapter 8

Should she tell him?  
Should she tell him that he was about to take her innocence?  
No. She could tell him afterwards, if he didn't notice himself. She leaned her head back as he continued nipping her inner thighs. She was so aroused already. And Tuomas noticed.  
"You smell so good ... where can I take you, my goddess?"  
"Uh -" Tarja was speechless. Goddess. "Upstairs ..."  
Without a word he picked her suit from the floor and then he picked her up in bridal style to carry her upstairs. Tarja stared at him while he carried her. He was really about to make love to her. It was not a dream ... she smiled back at him as he smiled at her.  
"What?"  
"Nothing." She buried her face in his chest. "Left door."  
He kicked the door open and for a moment he was speechless.   
Her room was beautiful and completely held in black, dark red and white. Like Snow White.  
It looked stunning and just like he had imagined her room to be. He placed her on the bed carefully and hovered over her. For a while he just looked down at her.  
"Tarja ..." he then mumbled and cupped her cheeks. "Why are you so pretty?"  
"I don't know?" Tarja grinned deviously.   
"I'd like to cherish your body all day long ..." He kissed a small trail between her breasts.  
"Well, I have nothing against it ..." Tarja breathed and spread her legs for him. He got the hint and pressed his hand on the spot between her legs. Even through the panties he could feel her wetness.  
"Oh God ..." he mumbled and Tarja grinned.  
"Never thought I'd ever hear that out of your mouth in a situation like this ..."  
"Let's drop that topic for an hour or so," Tuomas begged and Tarja's heart fluttered even more.  
An hour.  
"Alright. Kiss me again."  
He obliged, pressing his lips on hers.  
His tongue immediately found its way into her mouth again, fighting with hers for dominance. He was really a good kisser.  
Tarja buried her hands in his hair and pressed her faces closer together.   
"Tuomas ..." she moaned and kissed him harder. More forcing.  
Tuomas felt that she had loosened her walls now. First she had been shy, now the fire had awoken.  
He stroke her waist, took her waist, stroke the sides of her body. He could feel her tattoo - was it fresh?  
He cupped her breasts, kneading them gently. He felt her nipples, the piercing. How funny how he could love something he usually hated - only because it belonged to her.  
And then he reached down again and pulled her panties down.  
Tarja held her breath as he did so, it was the first time she was fully undressed in front of a man. Who wanted to have sex with her.  
And then he even was a priest!  
Tuomas pulled away. "You're so stiff ..."  
"Sorry." Tarja tried to loosen her limbs. "Sorry. Go on."  
He kissed her shoulder. "Do you want me to taste you?" he whispered against her skin.  
Tarja swallowed. She didn't know.  
"Yes? No?" He travelled his lips along her skin, lower, kissed her nipple.  
"Yes!" Tarja breathed out and closed her eyes. Suddenly doubts started to cross her mind. Why was he here? Why did he want to have sex with her all of a sudden? Was he only fooling her? Why hadn't he commented on her piercing? Hadn't eben been surprised?  
Tarja knew.  
"Did you look through my camera?"  
Tuomas looked up, his cheeks flushed. "Yes. I'm so sorry, Tarja. Really."  
Tarja leaned her head back. "It's okay ... so you saw my nude pictures. And - oh lord. The shooting with Sirja."  
"Yes. Everything." Tuomas looked at her apologetically. "And I also saw that video ... in which you ranted about me."  
Tarja blushed. "I didn't mean a single word ..."  
"Well, I hope so," Tuomas whispered and sunk his lips down on her stomach. "Now lean back, my beauty, and enjoy..."  
Tarja didn't know how.  
She was too excited, too scared, too confused. And way too unsure about the whole thing.  
She felt proud as Tuomas pulled her panty away and let out a little moan, but then he nipped her inner thigh again and she was scared. What if it didn't feel good?  
What if, later, it would hurt? Tarja suddenly wanted to have it behind her. See bucked her hips up, making him look at her.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Just fuck me ..." Tarja moaned. "Don't tease ... just fuck."  
Tuomas didn't know how to react first. Would it be a quickie for her? Or was she a passionate love maker? How long did she need to cum? If she'd fake it? She was very demanding, that was clear. She would surely help him to find the right spots.  
"Okay," he whispered and stood up.  
Tarja watched him undress, growing pale as he dropped his pants and boxers.  
Yes. It would hurt without a doubt.  
He was gentle as he sunk back on her, he instantly captured her lips again and stroke her hips. He was so gentle. Tarja knew he'd be gentle with her ...  
"My beauty..." Tuomas whispered as he pulled away. "I can't believe we're doing this."  
"Neither do I." Tarja smiled shyly. "Kiss me again!" It aroused her, made her get wetter.   
Tuomas did, he kissed her deeply and slung his arms around her body. He pulled her close, making her hardened nipples graze through his chest hair. He reached down and parted her legs.  
In this very moment he didn't think about protection. He was sure that she was taking the pill, but Tarja was very aware of that she didn't. "Wait," she whispered and pushed him back gently. "Condom ..."  
Tuomas nodded wordlessly. Of course she was taking care, she was experienced. He got off of her and watched Tarja crawl to her nightstand and reach into it. Tarja had gotten three condoms from her mother months ago when she and Satu had travelled to Lapland but she hadn't needed one. She had never thought she'd need one with the priest... she rolled it over him. She had practised often enough.  
Then she looked up and locked their eyes.  
"Okay. Sorry."  
"No, that's okay. It's good," Tuomas whispered and kissed her again. He'd never get enough of kissing her. He pushed her down gently, parted her legs again and sunk down between them.  
First she didn't feel much. She was wet enough not to feel him immediately but he pushed forward quickly and then he was there. Tuomas wondered about the resistance ... he looked at her.  
"Just relax," he mumbled and Tarja relaxed. Closed her eyes. She was prepared for the pain.  
And Tuomas took her hips and pushed.  
The whimper tore the silence apart and made him look at her in surprise.  
The awareness slowly dawned over him ... "You were a virgin ..." he moaned and buried his face in her chest.  
What had he done? What the heck had he done to this pure, innocent girl??  
"It's okay, the pain is almost over ... please go on," Tarja mumbled gently. She didn't get why he looked unhappy. "Tuomas ..."  
Tuomas looked up. "You ... why didn't you tell me...?"  
Tarja bucked her hips and moved against him.  
Tuomas moaned. He couldn't talk about it now, he was fully inside of her. But seriously, what had he done? He had taken someone's innocence. And that someone wasn't dating him, if they were a couple he wouldn't care. But they weren't.  
"Come on ... That's not bad," Tarja mumbled. She was confused. If he hadn't known that she was still innocent, why had he come to her? He would've really slept with a whore?  
He closed his eyes for a moment.  
Tarja pulled him down again and kissed him and as soon as their tongues touched, Tuomas tried to forget about it. He stroke her cheek and started moving against her.  
The pain was still present for Tarja, after all she had just lost her virginity. But she tried not to show him that she was in pain, closed her eyes and moaned quietly. And after a while there was both, slight pain and pleasure.  
She arched her back and leaned her head back. Her nails scratched his skin. "Tuomas ..."  
Tuomas, torn between stopping and going on, decided to just give in.  
He took the backsides of her thighs and pushed against her. She was moaning his name, she enjoyed it ...  
"Oh Tarja..." he breathed and buried his face in the nape of her neck. He kissed her skin, sucked her skin. She let out a quiet scream. He felt her nails dug in her skin. He pushed harder.  
The pain was over.  
Tarja couldn't believe she was here right now with Tuomas over her. A priest was making love to her.  
"Oh ... my -" she refused to say the word she wanted to say. Was it appropriate? What would he scream if he came?  
"Oh Tarja..." Tuomas sighed again, right into her ear and just before he grabbed her hips and pulled them up, making both their hips meet. Probably he'd scream out her name. Hopefully.  
Tarja stroke his back, scratched his skin again. Every push he did against her made her gasp. He kissed her again, forcing her to kiss him back. Her mind was turning. She felt dizzy yet good, her stomach made crazy jumps and her whole skin had erupted to goosebumps.   
Tuomas felt the same, her scent was in his nostrils, her moans were in his ears. He pulled his lips back and watched her.  
She was so beautiful.  
He bent down again and kissed her neck. He loved her neck. Her shoulder. Her everything. Even her tattoos and piercings. This was her and he loved her. "Tarja ..." he groaned quietly and opened his mouth to let out a growl.  
"Yes... I'm almost there..." Tarja gasped in a high pitched voice. It wasn't all to true but she wouldn't mind if he came. They could try over and over again ... they were a couple now ... hopefully ...  
"Oh Tuomas..." again she dug her nails into his skin. She was sure he was bleeding already. But she also knew that she liked it rough, she had always known.  
"Tari ... yes ... oh God ..."  
Tarja couldn't help but chuckle. He had used God's name during love act.  
"Please come with me ... please," Tuomas mumbled and reached down and between her thighs. He pressed his thumb on her clit and massaged it gently, then more forcing.  
"Come ..."  
Tarja's toes curled.  
Her mouth went open, let out another high pitched sound. A scream, this time. "Tuomaaaaaas!!"  
Her whole body felt as if mini electric shocks went through it. She winced with every shock, then her eyes rolled up, then she collapsed.  
And Tuomas buried his face in her chest and let out a long moan. He grabbed her hips and then, with one last push, it was over.   
He stayed in the position.  
Tarja smiled down at him and patted his head. "My God..."  
Tuomas didn't react.  
"I believe in God now," Tarja went on and finally he looked up. She winced at his empty look.  
"Don't joke about that," he said and sat up.  
"O-okay..."  
She watched him turn his back to her. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
Tarja needed a while to get what he meant. "That I'm still a virgin?"  
"That you were."  
"Was it important?" Tarja sulked a little. "I thought you'd be happy. See? I'm not a whore."  
"Yes. But." Tuomas sighed and turned around. "I took someone's innocence. I never wanted to do that. I'm scum."  
"No, you're Tuomas," Tarja said gently and reached for his hand. "Come. Let's cuddle."  
With a sigh he gave in. He placed himself next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. She looked at him.  
"Why didn't you want to take anyone's innocence?"  
"Because ... well you know the old thoughts. No sex before marriage. I'm against this thought because I think that ... if you love someone you should sleep with him. Then I met you ..." Tuomas touched her cheek. "And ... I feel horrible but I thought you were sleeping around."  
"I know."  
"And since I'm only a man... and I have desires too ... I thought you'd be the perfect woman for ... you know. Giving me pleasure. I've never thought you could still be innocent ... and I took that from you. I bet you wanted to save it for someone special ..."  
"You are someone special," Tarja mumbled and crawled closer to him. "I don't regret sleeping with you... please, Tuomas. Don't hate yourself."  
He kissed the top of her head.  
Oh, how he loved her.


	9. Chapter 9

"Tarja? Tarja baby, how are you?"  
Tarja smiled and wanted to reply Tuomas - as she realised that a female voice had asked her.  
She opened her eyes and turned around. "Mother?" she mumbled.  
Where was Tuomas?  
"Did you sleep?"  
"Mh... yes..." she stretched herself.  
"It's only four in the afternoon - are you alright? Are you feeling worse?"  
"Actually I'm... feeling better," Tarja said and pulled the blanket up. She was still naked. Tuomas and her had cuddled, touched, kissed, ... she smiled. "I'll dress and then I'll come down."  
"Okay." Marjatta didn't say anything else. What could she possibly say? 'You're naked'? 'Your room smells different'? Or 'someone forgot his shirt in your bed'?  
Marjatta wondered who this mysterious man who made her daughter feel better might be.  
But instead of saying something she'd regret, the older woman stood up and left the room.  
And Tarja sat up, intending to call Tuomas right away. Next problem - she didn't have his number.  
"Fuck ..." she mumbled. And then she noticed his shirt. Great. Tarja smiled. If he left it on purpose?  
She grabbed it, pulled it close and smelled on it. She giggled and she remembered his breaths in her ear, his lips on hers ...  
She couldn't believe it had happened. That the priest ... had deflowered her.  
She hugged the shirt and sniffed on it again.  
Where was he?

Tuomas was inside the church. Praying.  
"Forgive me, God... for I have sinned. There is this wonderful girl I devoted myself to. I'm so sorry for what I did to her. Forgive me, God, forgive me and forgive her. Don't punish me. I'm going to punish myself for it. Please don't punish her either, she will suffer from the same punishment as I do. Forgive us. It won't happen again." He took a breath. "Amen."

"Emppu?" Tarja threw herself back on the bed. "You won't believe what happened ..."  
"Uhm - you and the priest kissed?" Emppu guessed and Tarja laughed loudly.  
"Better!"  
"Uh - no, I have no idea, sorry."  
"Let's just say ... I'm not a virgin anymore."  
A silent bump and Emppu's scream made Tarja sure of the the fact that Emppu had dropped his phone. And really, a few seconds after that, his voice was close again.  
"WHAT?!" he yelled.  
"Yes. Lost it about ..." Tarja checked the clock, "ten hours ago."  
"You crazy little - to Tuomas??"  
"Well - yes."  
"Oh - my ..." Emppu was speechless.  
"God?" Tarja helped him and sighed. "He was so good ... oh lord. But as he noticed that I had been a virgin, he was so ... strange all of a sudden."  
"Well, he called you a whore. Must've come as a surprise," Emppu explained.   
"Yes but - he should be happy. Right?"  
Emppu wasn't sure. "Have you talked to him?"  
"Yes ... he was angry at himself that he took my innocence."  
"Maybe he wanted you to stay innocent until you met someone who you, I don't know, want to marry? Oh I really have no idea, Tarja."  
"But ... I love him. I want to marry him ..." Tarja stared at her knees.  
"Did you tell him that you love him?"  
"Not really ... I told him that he's someone special to me."  
"Cute," Emppu said with a smile. "Hey - can we meet on Saturday? I want to know everything."  
Tarja laughed. Of course he did. "Sure."

Tarja took a walk in the evening. Where was he? She needed to see him ... she couldn't wait to hug him, pull him down, kiss him ...  
She was wearing black leather pants that brought her curves out and - as usual - a corset. A red one, this time. Lace gloves, choker. Her hair was braided to two braids. And over the corset she was wearing nothing else than Tuomas' shirt. She'd never wear anything else again.  
She walked up to the church, where else should he be? She didn't think that he was at home and if he was, she couldn't do anything. She had no idea where he lived.   
No address, no number. But they had slept with each other. Tarja tried not to think too much.  
Trying to keep her thoughts appropriate, she entered the church. And really - he was inside.  
Kneeling down. Praying ...  
She smiled, got closer and looked if anyone was inside.   
No one was, so she covered his eyes from behind.   
"You left ..." she whispered into his ear. "I missed you ..."  
Tuomas stood up and turned around to face her. "What are you doing here?"  
"Oh - am I still banned? Bad Tarja..." Tarja smiled smugly and put her right hand on his chest, playing with the button of his shirt. "You need to punish her."  
"Tarja -" Tuomas seemed desperate. And Tarja reacted quickly, she grabbed his collar, pulled him down and pressed her lips on his.  
"Tarja, no!" Tuomas muttered and pushed her away.  
"Then let's go outside!" Tarja suggested and pulled at his shirt but Tuomas didn't move.  
"Tarja ..." he tried again. "Let go of me, please. I need to tell you something."  
Slowly Tarja let go of him. "Yes?"  
"Tarja - what we did was as wrong as something can be," Tuomas said. "I'm not supposed to do things like this ..."  
"Yes but - I thought it was different because it was me ..." Tarja mumbled.  
"Why should it? I thought you're a whore, that's why I did it with you. If I had known you were innocent, I wouldn't have come over."  
For Tarja a world broke together.   
"What ...?"  
His eyes went down her body. "You're wearing my shirt. Didn't you see the letter?"  
Tarja's face was white as she reached into the pocket. And really, inside of it she found a folded paper.  
Quietly she unfolded it and read, trying to read as tears took her sight.  
'My dearest Tarja. You look beautiful when you're asleep and I can't stop thinking about what I just did to you. I feel gross and I apologise for what I've done. I took something from you that you will never get back. I'm so sorry for leaving but I felt like scum. I need to pray now and ask for forgiveness. My beauty ... forgive me please. I will never ask you for this again. Let's just forget what happened and go on with our lives -'  
Tarja let the letter sink. "Forget??"  
Tuomas nodded slowly. "I think we both should forget that -" he went silent as Tarja starter tearing the letter into little pieces.  
"You - fucking - stupid - mean - little - piece - of -shit!" she shouted with every time she tore the paper. "You - asshole! You - monster! Motherfucker!!" She started crying and threw the white confetti at him. "I hate you! You monster! You pretend to be oh so sacred but you're worse than the others! Other men at least have the guts to break the heart of a woman face to face! I hate you! You are scum! Fuck you!"  
She stood there, breathing hard, crying madly. She waited for him to scream or defend himself. But he didn't.   
"You ... you ..." Tarja was shaking. "You're exactly what I called you before! A fucking wanker! Don't you dare coming back to screw again..."  
"I promise I won't ever annoy you again," Tuomas said calmly.  
"Good!" Tarja screamed. "GOOD! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!"  
And with those words she stormed out of the church, tearing off the shirt and throwing it to the ground. She was crying madly. She couldn't even see anything due to the tears taking her sight, she just ran and ran.

Tuomas sunk down. He had done the right thing.  
But did she really care so much? Could she like him as much as he liked her? Why had she reacted like this? She had seemed heartbroken ...   
But no, she definitely didn't like him. She had said it, had said she hated him. It had sounded as if she had said it in her rage but it had also sounded as if she meant it.  
But how could he hate her? He had made love to her ...  
And then it dawned over him.  
This was his torture.  
His torture for giving in on his lust and taking her innocence.  
Now Tarja hated him. 

Tarja threw herself on her bed and cried. Cried, cried, cried.  
"Sweetie ...?" Marjatta entered carefully. "Baby, what's wrong?"  
"Go away!" Tarja sobbed. "I need time for myself!"  
But Marjatta didn't walk out again. She got closer, sat down at her daughter's bed. "Want to tell me?"  
"Nooo!" Tarja sobbed into her pillow. "Fuck ... fuck ... why does love hurt like this ..."  
"Oh no." Marjatta closed her eyes. "What did he do?"  
Tarja didn't wonder about how her mother knew. She wasn't stupid, she had probably seen his shirt.  
"He said he - he doesn't want to - to be with me ..." Tarja sobbed and her mother clenched her fists. How could anyone do this to her ... yes, different but beautiful daughter? Sleep with her and then not want to be with her? What kind of a monster was he??  
"What's his name?" Marjatta asked through gritted teeth. "Tell me and I will make him pay."  
Tarja shook her head. She couldn't say his name, she'd be shocked. Or she wouldn't believe her. "No ... I can't tell you his name..."  
"Is it this ... this Marco?" Marjatta asked. Tarja shook her head.  
"No, Marco is just a friend ... that guy he's... oh mum, I love him but he ... he told me I should f-forget what happened ..."  
Marjatta stroke her daughter's head. "Was it your first time?" she asked carefully.   
"Yes," Tarja sobbed without hesitation. "I - I thought he loved me too ... now I gave myself to a man who doesn't want me ... oh mother ..."   
Finally she sat up and hugged the older woman. Marjatta's shoulder was wet within not even a minute.  
"Oh, Tari. Crying for him is probably not worth a tear."  
"I love him so damn much," Tarja sobbed again. "I wish I could forget it ... but he was so gentle and ... amazing... I can't forget it."  
Marjatta didn't know what to do. "Really, Tari, tell me his name. I'll look for him and talk to him."  
Tarja hesitated. Should she ...? Could she trust her mother?  
"You don't know him."  
"Doesn't matter. No one hurts my daughter without suffering."  
Tarja smiled. "Oh mum ..."  
"Seriously. My daughter, the most beautiful girl alive, just can't get hurt by some random man."  
"Right," Tarja said. "And he liked my nipple piercing, so I'm going to pull it out."  
"Thank God!" Marjatta laughed and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Wanna watch a movie? I think we still have ice cream."  
Tarja's eyes started to shine.

Later she got down. She had carefully removed the piercing but it had started bleeding madly. She had disinfected it, cursed herself a thousand times and had put a gauze swab into her bra. Then she went downstairs, took a bowl of chocolate and Strawberry ice cream and placed herself in front of the TV.   
"Let's watch Titanic," she ordered.  
"Why, because the man dies?" Marjatta shook her head. "No. No sad story. Let's watch Mamma Mia."

Tuomas was clueless. What should he do now? He had hurt the woman he loved and that was what he got back. The woman he loved hated him. Oh, he definitely deserved her hate.  
"Lord, why?" he asked as he folded his hands. "I know that I haven't done the right thing, but is that a good reason for her to hate me? Oh lord, why ... couldn't I just stay with her ..."  
He needed to talk to her. He needed to make her forgive him.  
Her hating him was the worst feeling he had ever had.

He bought flowers again. Roses, she loved roses. Red roses of course.  
He placed them in front of the house as he had already done two days ago. The card said 'Tarja... I'm sorry. Forgive me.'  
And then he hid behind the tree again.  
Marjatta opened, saw the roses and the card, called for Tarja.   
And Tarja came out, took the flowers - and went to the bin in front of their house. With a poker face she threw the flowers into it, tore the card apart and threw it into the bin as well.  
Tuomas' heart slowly broke. He had done something he couldn't make up again.


	10. Chapter 10

Tuomas didn't see her in two whole months.  
Of course he knew that she didn't return on purpose, he knew that she avoided any situation to run into him. He walked to her house every weekend, but her car was never there. He never saw her in church, of course. Never saw her in the wood or at the lake anymore. Soon he came to the conclusion that she simply stayed in Savonlinna.  
So he drove to Savonlinna.   
It was end of June and he knew that summer holidays were about to start. She had to come back to Kitee then, but he couldn't wait to see her. He needed to see her, so one Wednesday he typed the destination of the college into his phone and started driving.  
And then he was there, in his car, in front of the school. He didn't know what to do now so he waited.  
And waited.  
The weather was nice, he was sure that Tarja and her friends would spend the break outside.   
And he was lucky, they did. At half past twelve, the first people got out. He squinted his eyes in case he'd miss her - but as he saw her, he knew that he couldn't have missed her.  
She was wearing a black skirt that reached until the ground. A black corset which only covered her breasts; her stomach, shoulders and back were free. He could see her tattoos. She had a new tattoo on her lower arm but he couldn't make out what it was.  
If she still had that piercing?  
Her hair was in a messy bun and on her head sat an Alice band with red roses. The only thing he hadn't expected were her glasses - which were black as well.  
But as soon as she got out fully, she took the glasses off.  
Tuomas' heart stood still.  
She was so, so beautiful.  
He decided to get out and go to her, as someone approached Tarja.   
A man. Well, a young man. Younger than him.  
Without hesitation he pulled the young woman close and kissed her.  
And Tarja kissed him back.

Tarja had started dating Janne only two weeks after the incident with Tuomas.  
Makeshift, as Emppu and Sirja called him secretly. And they were right, he was nothing more than a makeshift. But Tarja had known for months already that Janne was in love with her, so two weeks, at Sirja's birthday party, she had pulled the younger man close and kissed him. Since then they were dating.  
Janne was sweet, he treated her like a queen, gave her everything she wanted. Did everything for her. He was good looking as well and gladly offered himself as model for Tarja's beloved gothic photo shootings.  
Janne could be a perfect man for the eternity, he had loved Tarja for a year now. He was a musician too and he was a wonderful boyfriend. But there was one big problem:  
He wasn't Tuomas.   
"How are you?" Janne stroke her cheek.  
Tarja smiled up to him. "I'm okay. It was quite exhausting today but ..."  
She gasped as he put his finger on her lips. "Don't say it ... just tell how I can make you feel good."  
Tarja was speechless. "Uhm - buy me gothic clothes?"  
Janne laughed. "I knew it. Let's go?"

They walked away from the campus hand in hand, so Tuomas started the car and followed them. They walked to a shop called "Alchemy Gothic".  
It looked very gothic from the outside already and Tuomas knew that Tarja probably felt good inside there. He waited and twenty minutes later they came out again.  
Tarja's face was shining, she looked happy. She was carrying a big bag. Had he bought something for her?  
Probably. Tarja got on her toes and kissed the guy's cheek. He smiled happily.  
Tuomas' heart was clenching. He shouldn't be jealous, Tarja deserved happiness. And he could see that this man loved her.  
But still, as soon as the couple was out of sight, he left the car and walked into the store. It was nice, really like a store for Tarja. So many corsets, hats with veils, chokers, rings, boots, ...  
He wondered about what Tarja didn't have yet, as he saw them.  
It was a pair of earrings.   
Two black roses, small and delicate, yet so elegant. And two stones dangling from the roses, silver ones, sparkling like two silver moons.   
He got dizzy as he saw the prize.  
"Can I help you?" a very punky looking lady with pink hair asked Tuomas with a flirty smile.   
"Ehm ... are these stones real?"  
"Real diamonds?" The woman laughed. "No, mister. It's a perfect imitation. But the silver is real."  
"Okay." Tuomas could slap himself. Yes, they were expensive, but not as expensive as real diamond products. "Ehm - do you know the girl who just left?"  
"Tarja?" the woman immediately asked and Tuomas nodded. "Sure I know her! She's here almost everyday."  
"She's a friend of mine," Tuomas said. "And it's her birthday soon. Do you think she could like these?"  
"Oh, definitely!" the lady said. "She looks at them everytime but not even her boyfriend wants to buy them for her."  
Tuomas smiled. So she didn't have them yet ... "Okay, I'll take them. Please don't tell her I was here, I followed her secretly."  
"Oh I won't tell her," the woman promised and scanned the earrings. "Shall I wrap them?"  
"Oh, that would be great," Tuomas mumbled and looked around. It was a nice shop ... he found some stuff he'd also buy for himself. "Do you have CDs as well?"  
"Yes, of course. The merchandise fraction is back there!"  
Tuomas thanked the punk haired lady and walked to the back.  
Later he entered his car. He placed his new cap on the co-driver's seat and put the little parcel into it. He couldn't believe what he had just bought for Tarja...

"Look what Janne bought me today!" Tarja said happily and pulled out her newest corset.  
"Nice," Sirja said with a broad grin. "Will you wear it this weekend?" She winked.  
"Yes, definitely. And then he can undress me ..." Tarja winked.  
"Are you sure you want to sleep with him?" Sirja asked with a doubting look. "You don't love him..."  
"No I don't but I can sleep with him anyway, right? It's not like I was a virgin."  
"Yes but you only slept with someone once before," Sirja said carefully.  
"So I know how it works. Right?" Tarja grinned. "It will be wonderful, you'll see."  
"Don't force yourself to sleep with him," Sirja sighed but Tarja ignored her.

And then the weekend arrived and Tarja and Janne drove to Pihlajalahti, where Janne lived.  
"Ready to meet my parents?" Janne asked. He was very nervous. Of course he had told his parents that she was a goth ... what if they didn't like it? Or her in general?  
Tarja wasn't nervous. The relationship with Janne wasn't as serious for her as it was for him. "Yes I am."  
Only forty minutes later they arrived and Janne took Tarja's hand.  
"Hey ... Tari..." he started nervously, "I love you."  
Tarja's heart stood still for a moment. He loved her ...  
"It's nice here," Tarja said. Her ears were ringing. She couldn't return it ... she didn't love him...  
"It's boring here. I had a hard time as a teenager, I just wanted to go far away." He laughed and pulled her towards the house. "Come on, love."  
Tarja felt bad. Really bad. He was such a nice guy but she just couldn't love him ...

Janne's parents were called Tero and Aleksandra. They immediately greeted Tarja happily, accepted them as their son's girlfriend - even though she looked different.  
"Janne has always talked about you," Aleksandra said while she poured some coffee into Tarja's mug. "He was so happy as he called us to tell you two were together."  
Tarja smiled with honesty and sipped at her coffee.   
"Mother, could you please not be so embarrassing?" Janne laughed.  
"Sorry. So, what will you two do tonight?" Aleksandra winked at her son.  
"I ... wanted to take Tarja to that restaurant you talked about ..." Janne blushed.  
"You mean the one where Tero asked me to marry him?" Aleksandra asked and Tarja coughed. Oh god ...  
"Yes. That one." Janne turned his head and stared outside the window.  
Suddenly Tarja felt really, really bad.

The restaurant was romantic. The perfect location for couples which were head over heels in love. And when Janne took her hand and smiled at her, she knew.  
She didn't love him, she never would. Not only because of Tuomas, simply because he was only a friend for her. She could stop trying, she wouldn't love him. Never. He was a wonderful boyfriend and he would be a wonderful boyfriend for another girl who would really love him.  
"My parents are going out as well tonight," Janne suddenly informed Tarja.   
"Ah?" Tarja said.  
"Yes ... they will come home quite late. We will have some time for ourselves."  
"That's nice," Tarja said. She could only focus on Janne's hand which was caressing hers.  
"I know," Janne said gently. "You're so beautiful ... my love."  
Tarja's heart ached. She only could think of the word that Tuomas had said to her ... they had done so much more to her than this man's words.  
Tarja smiled. "Thanks ..."  
"I want you to meet my friends tomorrow," Janne suddenly said. "We could go out and have some drinks ... don't worry, there are some metal bars close. Okay, one. And it's more of a rock bar. But I won't bring you somewhere you won't like it. I know you need your daily dose of metal."  
Tarja laughed. He was really sweet ...

When they returned, the house was empty indeed. Janne pulled Tarja close and started kissing her gently.  
And Tarja gave in, especially as the kiss grew more passionate ... Janne picked her up and started kissing her throat.  
And really - Tarja was so aroused all of a sudden that she knew she didn't need a man she loved to sleep with him. She could sleep with anyone, he just needed to know where to touch her... and kiss her ...

But after it, Tarja lay awake.  
Janne was sleeping already. Tarja couldn't.   
He had been so ... rough. Not as gentle as Tuomas. He had ... fucked her and after ten minutes or something it had been over.  
She hadn't even come. Janne had just cared for his own peak, hadn't pleasured her as Tuomas had. During the act he hadn't been as cute as he usually was. Hadn't whispered sexy things into her ears. He had only moaned "Fuck, you're so hot!" about ten times.  
Tarja felt tears in her eyes. Tuomas ... why, Tuomas, why?

Tuomas ended the mass with a wish for the others to leave in peace. And then he quickly went to Emppu. He had been surprised to see the man in the church.  
"Erno ... right?"  
"Uhm - Emppu," Emppu quickly said.   
"Right. Sorry. Is Tarja in Kitee as well?"  
Emppu's eyes grew cold. "No. She's with her boyfriend. Someone who treats her right."  
Tuomas' heart clenched. "That's good," he said and nodded. "She deserves to be treated like a queen."  
"Exactly," Emppu said. "Hey - why do even talk to me? You know I'm..." Emppu looked around.  
"Yes but - God made you the same way than everyone else, right?" Tuomas said. "You have the same anatomy as everyone else."  
"My parents made me," Emppu replied with a grin. "But I like what you said about my anatomy. I may have less bones because I'm so small but yes, I think my skeleton looks the same as yours."  
Tuomas laughed but then he became serious. "I need to give something to Tarja."  
"What?"  
"An early birthday present. Can you maybe give it to her when you see her?" Tuomas looked desperate. Emppu felt bad all of a sudden - Tarja had always said that he was the bad guy but he looked ... as if he loved Tarja! Wow ...  
"Sure," Emppu replied. "Do you have it with you?"  
Tuomas shook his head. "Can I give it to you next weekend?"  
"Hm... I won't come back next weekend ..."  
"Or can I send it to you?" Tuomas asked. He could insure the package...  
"Sure!" Emppu said. "Just write my name on it and I'll receive it. Emppu Vuorinen. The address you'll find on the homepage."  
"Thank you so much," Tuomas said. He was so relieved! "Please make sure she won't throw it away ... if she doesn't like it she ... can sell it." He let his look sink and Emppu promised him to make sure she wouldn't throw it away.


	11. Chapter 11

"How was it?" Sirja asked as Tarja came back Sunday evening.   
"In general or the sex ...?" Tarja sighed.  
"Everything," Sirja said. "So you had sex."  
"Yes."  
"Ohh ... and? Bad, right?"  
"Yes. How did you know?" Tarja let herself fall on her bed.  
"Well, you don't love him," Sirja said. "It's just sex if you don't love him, right? But with Tuomas... you love Tuomas. It only can be good with him."  
"Siri - he was really rough. Not gentle at all. He just fucked me and went to bed. The next day he told me that I was amazing and he loved me. I was amazing! I didn't even cum."  
"Oh, Tarja," Sirja sighed and Tarja let herself fall on her bed.  
"On Saturday I met his friends. They're so ... not nice. They hate my look, they made fun of me. They called me an emo! I had to show them my wrists! Janne defended me and then they called him an emo too! He was ashamed of his friends and said I didn't have to see them again if I didn't want to. And today we went to lunch with his parents. They think our relationship is serious as hell! They asked me if I wanted to have children sooner or later!!"  
"Oh damn, what did you say?"  
"I said I wanted to have children later. After I established a good singing career. Then they asked me about my other future plans, oh, it was so fucked up. When I told them I wanted to sing in a metal band or model for a gothic label or do both, they told me they want to support me!"  
"What? Are they your or his parents??" Sirja shook her head.  
"I don't know. And I also think that Janne's father liked me a little too much. He stared at my chest all the time. And I didn't wear a corset!"  
"Wow." Sirja was shocked. "I never thought that. Janne is so nice!"  
"Janne is still nice. He thinks his parents are embarrassing. But then he told me again that he loved me and I... couldn't return it."  
"This is really fucked up," Sirja sighed. "Will you break up?"  
"Not yet ..." Tarja decided. "I want Tuomas to find out about Janne and me first. I hope Emppu told him somehow. He shall suffer."

"I told him you have a boyfriend," Emppu told her the next day. "He looked hurt. I also told him that Janne treats you right."  
"Good boy," Tarja said. "I won't break up with him yet. Tuomas shall see I'm happy ..."  
"But you're not," Emppu said and Tarja sighed, pulled him aside and told him about her weekend.

Tuomas wrapped the black parcel in a package and drove to the post office.  
"There's jewellery inside," he said. "Can I insure it?"  
"Of course, father Holopainen," the woman at the post office said. "How much is the value?"  
"Around one-hundred and twenty Euro," Tuomas said. "122,60 to be exact."  
"Alright," the woman said and insured the package. And Tuomas paid and walked outside. Now it was too late. Tarja would receive it.

The package arrived on Monday of the following week. Emppu wondered about what could be in the small parcel. Of course he had removed the package and admired the elegant looking, black wrapping paper.  
Emppu remembered Tuomas' look and smiled sadly. They loved each other ... why couldn't they just be with each other?  
He carefully knocked at her door and the small moans stopped. Then Tarja opened, her hair tousled, her lips red, her cheeks and ears glowing.  
"Am I disturbing?"  
Tarja threw a thankful look at Emppu and the blonde entered. "Hi, Janne."  
"Hi," Janne said. Emppu knew that Janne wasn't happy about his interrupt.  
"Tarja, could I have a second?"  
"Sure. Would you mind, Janne ...?"  
But Janne didn't move. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing. I just need to tell her something."  
"Well I'm her boyfriend and she doesn't have secrets from me. You can tell me too."  
Emppu sighed.  
"You got an early birthday present." He gave the parcel to her.  
"Oh God ... from whom?" Tarja looked at Emppu as she took the small thing carefully.  
"Tuomas," Emppu answered and Tarja almost dropped the gift.  
"What??"  
"Your ex?" Janne asked and was by their side within a second. "Give me that gift, you don't have to unwrap it."  
"No, Janne," Tarja put her hands away, saving the parcel from his grab. "I want to."  
"Then unwrap now," Janne ordered and Tarja's mouth fell open.  
"It's... it's a birthday present ...!"  
"From your ex," Janne ended. "Open."  
Tarja glared at him but then sighed. It didn't matter if she opened now or in a month.  
So she carefully tore the black paper apart, revealing a little bag ... a jewellery bag from Alchemy Gothic! Tarja's heart beat faster.  
And when she revealed the earrings she wanted to have for months already, she forgot how to breathe.  
No.  
Not really.  
This wasn't happening.   
Her heart raced and she couldn't breathe anymore. Suddenly she felt like fainting.  
Janne moved but it looked as if he moved in slow motion.  
And suddenly her sight blurred ...

"Tarja??" someone slapped her cheek gently.  
Tarja shook her head. "I'm back. Sorry. I just... I don't know. I almost fainted."  
"Yeah, I noticed," Emppu said. "Janne went outside. He's angry."  
"Is this... it this really from Tuomas? He bought them for me??"  
Emppu nodded slowly. "Yes. He said if you don't want them, sell them. But he begged not to throw them away."  
"Throw 120€ away?? He's crazy ... I won't wear them. I will give them back to him."  
"Are you sure? He looked quite -"  
"I AM SURE," Tarja barked. "This motherfucker crushed my fucking heart and now he tries to buy me back? Well I'm not like those girls who'd be happy to get things like this ..." She looked at the earrings. Oh, how she wanted to keep them. "I'm going to give them back to him."

And really.   
Saturday afternoon she grabbed the parcel and started driving. She drove right to the church but he wasn't there. What now? Should she wait? She didn't know where he lived ...  
So she waited. And waited.  
It was seven in the evening as she decided to drive home. But then she remembered something ...  
Quickly she typed a message to Emppu.   
'You stalked Tuomas... do you know his address?'  
And only three minutes later, he messaged her the address of the priest.   
Her heart was pumping fast as she got into her car again. What a nice area of Kitee! Quite outside ... pretty close to the lake ... a wonderful view to the islands and woods.  
And when she arrived, she cursed herself for not wanting to visit him before. He had a beautiful house. A big house. A huge garden. He almost had no neighbours. The next house was quite far away.  
She got closer. If he'd send her away?  
... why would he? He gave her those beautiful earrings she wanted to keep so bad ...  
She swallowed and rung the doorbell.  
And as Tuomas opened, her heart stood still.  
She hadn't seen him for more than two months, but in those he had become even more handsome. His hair and beard had grown and his expression had become more serious.

Tuomas couldn't believe that she was here.  
Tarja.   
It was Tarja.   
His Tarja, his beauty, his love, his queen, his goddess. She looked so sad ...  
"Tarja ..." he croaked. "Wanna come ... come in?"  
Tarja smiled. "If you let me?"  
"Of course ..." Tuomas whispered and stepped aside. He was shaking. She was here. Here ... Tarja entered and he couldn't tear his eyes away.   
"Nice house," she complimented.  
Tuomas couldn't reply.   
"A little big for a single man ..." Tarja mumbled.  
"You're not wearing your earrings," Tuomas suddenly blurted out and Tarja turned to him.  
"Right," she said and reached into her bag. Pulled the smaller bag out. "Here. I don't want them."  
Tuomas' heart felt, once again, as if someone had ripped it out. "Why?"  
"Because they're from you."  
"Tarja, why do you hate me so much?" Tuomas whispered.  
"Well what do you think?" Tarja replied but then her eyes went soft. "I don't hate you, I'm heartbroken. Now take the earrings back."  
Tuomas slowly took the bag. "You don't hate me?"  
"Tuomas ... remember when you asked me if I'd sleep with a priest?"  
"Sure," Tuomas mumbled. "You answered 'only with one' ... and you meant me."  
"Well..." Tarja stared at the ground. "If you asked me something else ... something like, 'would you sleep with someone now?' ... my answer would have been the same."  
Tuomas was quiet for a while. Then he said carefully, "But you have a boyfriend..."  
"A makeshift. Yes." Tarja looked up at him and then away again. She had to avoid his piercing blue eyes. "Someone who should make me forget about you. But it didn't work. You're still present, the whole day. The whole night... in my day dreams, my nightly dreams ... I tried so hard to forget you and then I got these. Didn't quite help."  
"I thought you'd be happy," Tuomas said sadly.  
"Well - I want them. Really. But I don't want them from you ... not because I hate you. It's just - you hurt me so bad. And I love you so much, so it hurts even more." Finally she looked at him.  
"You love me ..." Tuomas whispered.  
"Yes. I love you."  
"But you have a boyfriend..."  
"Whom I don't love," Tarja said. "And if you tell me that you love me back, I will break up. I will break up anyway, no matter what. Also if you don't love me back."  
Tarja had no idea where her courage had came from, but as she had ended, she was happy about her courage. Because the next thing she realised was, that his soft lips were on hers and his gentle hands were on her waist.  
"Oh Tarja..." he pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers.  
Tarja put her hands on his chest and smiled. "So - you love me...?"  
"Yes." Tuomas laughed gently and stroke her cheek, put his finger under her cheek. "Good God, yes, I love you so much."  
Tarja sighed happily. He loved her back ... he loved her ...  
"Okay ... I'll call Janne and -"  
"No, tell him face to face," Tuomas said. "It's not nice to break up over the phone."  
"But ... I want to make love with you now," Tarja said with a pout. "And I heard that cheating was not allowed ..."  
"I allow you," Tuomas mumbled and lifted her up. "You want to make love, I'm here, my goddess."  
Tarja slung her arms around his neck. "You allow me to cheat?"  
"Yes. Because you're going to cheat with me."  
Tarja laughed and pecked his lips. "Bring me upstairs, Love..." she whispered and Tuomas gladly obliged.

Tarja smiled and cuddled her body against the taller body.  
"Don't leave," the man mumbled and Tarja shook her head.  
"I won't. I would never."  
Tuomas looked at her and took her hands. "I'm sorry I did."  
"Let's forget the past and focus on the present," Tarja suggested. "I also called you mean things."  
"You had the right to do so." Tuomas pulled her close.  
"So did you."  
"No. I had no right to call you a whore. You were a tease but how could I know you were a virgin?"  
Tarja grinned. "Thanks for taking that from me, lover."  
Tuomas rubbed his nose against hers. "Tease."  
Tarja chuckled and placed her head on his chest. "At least you make me cum," she sighed.  
Tuomas didn't dare to ask first. But he needed to know. "How ... was he? To you?"  
"In general or in bed?" Tarja asked.  
"Well ... in bed. Was he better than me?"  
"Oh, of course," Tarja said sarcastically. "He was rough, fast and not really gentle. He needed five to ten minutes and I didn't come once. I'd say he was definitely better than you."  
"Tease," Tuomas said gently and kissed her forehead. "Sleep well. And when we're going to wake up, I want to ravish you like you deserve it."  
"Ravish ... sounds savage," Tarja whispered. "Almost like rape ..."  
Tuomas put his finger on her lips. "You will see ..."


	12. Chapter 12

In the morning they went to the shower to explore each other.  
And hell, Tuomas took the word 'exploring' as another word for foreplay. Tarja came twice only through his touches. And after the second time he was so hard, that she simply pressed him against the wall, climbed on him and made him enter her. Tuomas groaned and grabbed her thighs, supporting her in a way while she went up and down. She grabbed his shoulders and threw her head back. Water fell into her face, dripped down her hair. Tuomas watched her, watched the water run down her body, her breasts, drip from her nipples. He leaned forward as good as possible and took her beautiful, pink nipple into her mouth. He sucked greedily and Tarja breathed loudly.  
"Yes ... oh God, yes ... Tuomas... go on ... please ..."  
Tuomas held her tighter to his body, making her look down at him.  
"Oh Tuo... I love you ... I love you so much..."  
Tuomas couldn't get enough of this sound. She loved him, she really loved him.  
"I love you too, my queen. My love." He kissed her just in the very moment she came. She moaned into his mouth, grabbed his hair, bit his lower lip. Tuomas gasped and she let go of his lips, threw her head back and let out a long and high scream. And as she collapsed against his body, he held her close and released himself.   
He breathed her name like it was the only thing he knew. And then he sunk down, taking her with him.  
"I love you so much ..." he whispered and cupped her face. "You can't even imagine how much ... I'm so happy, Tari..."  
Tarja smiled and hugged him. "Me too ... me too ..."

"So - how could we tell your parents?"  
Tarja stopped drying herself and looked at him. "I ...haven't thought of that before."  
"Well, you want to be with me, right?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded. "Then we need to tell your parents. We can't be with each other in secret, marry secretly, get a baby secretly ..."  
"Uhm -" Tarja was confused. Had he thought about everything already?  
"What?"  
"A baby??"  
"We never used protection. Only once, two months ago," Tuomas reminded her and Tarja blushed.  
"I'm... I'm on the pill now."  
"Oh."  
Tarja sighed. "Are you against it?"  
"Well I'm... I think it's better than aborting, of course, but - hum. I just personally think of God wants a new life on earth, then we shouldn't prevent it with chemicals." Tuomas smiled at her. "But of course I understand you, you're young ..."  
"Exactly. And if God really wants us to breed, he will make the pill useless." Tarja grinned scoffing.   
"Don't make fun of it," Tuomas mumbled. "We've had that topic already."  
"Sorry, I can't do something against it. It's the atheist in me."  
Tuomas didn't reply. It was harder than he had hoped.  
"Sorry," Tarja mumbled again and took his hand. "Don't listen to me. I know I'm saying stupid things. But I won't stop taking the pill as long as I haven't built up a career. I hope you understand that."  
"Of course." Tuomas smiled at her. "It would be quite something to explain in church. 'By the way, I'll be a father. Oh, and the mother is that gothic lady over there. Yes, the atheist'. I can't imagine that."  
"Oh God, we should elope," Tarja giggled and Tuomas took her hand.  
"We should, yes. We should elope ..." His eyes were shining.   
Tarja chuckled. "I'd like that ..." she caressed his chest. "By the way - don't you have a mass to organise?"  
"Shit," Tuomas cursed and started to dress himself. "I totally forgot! I can't believe I forgot the mass!"  
Tarja laughed loudly. Tuomas dressed himself quickly and kissed her lips. "Stay here okay? Please stay..." he looked at her with a begging look and Tarja smiled gently.  
"I'll stay."  
"I love you," Tuomas breathed and left the bathroom.  
Tarja giggled. He had forgotten church because of her? Wow. But he had enough time left ...  
She watched him run to his car through the bedroom window. She laughed. What a man ... he was hers, for real now.   
Tarja got dressed and then made a tour through the house. She didn't find much, didn't find anything that was strange ... nothing she had expected, porns or the playboy or something like this. Or sex toys. Of course not, why would she? She found several books, many books. From Perfume to Lord of the rings. Pride And Prejudice. Edgar Allan Poe. That man was so different than she had expected ... she had thought there would be many religious books. But she only found the bible.   
She opened it, read some passages and snorted.  
"Man and man aren't supposed to sleep next to each other ... what the fuck," she mumbled and closed the bible. That was one of the many reasons why she was an atheist.  
Whistling a song of her favourite band, she went back to the bedroom.  
Maybe under the bed?  
No, nothing was there. No hidden porns or a sex puppet. Tarja chuckled. She had to go on.  
She went through his wardrobe.  
He had a nice style, rather unobtrusive, Tarja liked it. He seemed to like black - maybe that was why he had shown interest in her?  
Tarja went to the living room, looking through his DVDs. Perfume, again. Les Miserables. Tarja laughed. Hair. Jesus Christ Superstar. Yentl... that was interesting. He seemed to like musicals which were from other religious sights. Oh! Phantom of the Opera!!  
Tarja took it our, admiring the beautiful colour. It was her favourite musical by far.  
She went to the CDs. Metallica, Sonata Arctica, AC/DC, Nirvana, Iron Maiden. She nodded slowly and had to laugh as she spotted Judas Priest. Not really! 'What a man,' she thought again.  
But it seemed he had no single sex toy.  
Hm.  
She grabbed her car keys and quickly drove off to her house. Her parents were in church, of course.   
She opened the lower drawer of her dresser and started lifting the corsets from her desired objects:  
A whip, a chain and handcuffs.  
She had bought them for photo shootings and had never thought she'd needed them in real. But it seemed as if she would.  
She also took the horns, the devil tail and the red leather suit. Oh she'd be the sexiest devil he had ever seen ...  
She drove back and carried everything upstairs. Started to prepare herself.   
After some thinking she darkened the room. Why hadn't she brought candles?  
But wait, he had candles for sure ...  
She went to the living room. Where was a normal human keeping candles?  
In which of those drawers ...  
She opened all of them but nothing.  
She went to the kitchen and continued looking. She couldn't find anything. Maybe he didn't have any? What a priest. She winced as she heard his car.  
He was back already?! She looked at the clock and really, it was half past 10 already.  
She ran upstairs again and positioned herself on the bed with both the whip and handcuffs in her hand. Her heart was racing.   
She heard the door being opened. "Baby? Are you still there?"  
Tarja remained quiet.  
"Tari?"  
Tarja said nothing. He went upstairs. Soon he'd open the door and she'd be there, waiting for him. A whip and handcuffs in her hand, a chain around her neck ... horns on her head ...

Tuomas was scared that Tarja had left him. He wouldn't be angry at her, not at all. He would understand if she had left ... and at the same time he wouldn't understand. He had loved her the whole night ...  
Then he remembered her car. He had parked his next to hers. Was she sleeping?  
Well ... the room was dark.  
"Tarja? Honey?"  
He carefully opened the door. He could see that someone - Tarja - was on the bed. She was sleeping.  
With a smile he got closer, as she moved.  
"Stay where you are."  
Tuomas froze. "Tari?"  
Tarja got up. "Do you have any candles?"  
"Candles? No, not yet."  
"Dammit," Tarja muttered. "What kind of priest are you?? Okay, doesn't matter. Close your eyes, love."  
Tuomas immediately did. He trusted her.  
And she led him towards the bed, pushing him down on it gently. She got on top of him and kissed him. Tuomas wanted to touch her, but she grabbed his hands.  
Click.  
He was cuffed.  
"Tarja, what -!" He panicked. Would she call the police now?? Would she kill him?? ... No. She wouldn't do that, definitely not.  
She laughed evilly. "I'm your mistress now. Understood?"  
Tuomas swallowed. "Y-yes..."  
"Good ... stay. Don't move."  
She got off of him and went to the light to switch them on. And when she did, Tuomas moaned.  
"Oh lord ..." He tried to free his hands. "Can you uncuff me?"  
"What - you need to draw a cross on your forehead?" Tarja asked.  
"Yes," Tuomas moaned. "It's called blessing and yes I need to do that ... I slept with the devil, oh God... forgive me ..."  
"I can bless you too," Tarja said and picked the whip from the floor.  
Tuomas groaned. "Oh God... if this is my punishment, I'll gladly die ..."  
"Oh? Well it is your punishment ..." Tarja stroke the whip, thinking of what to do first. Then she walked over to him.  
Tuomas stared at her. She was crazy, literally crazy. Those horns. The tail. Was that a chain? What was she doing with that chain...?  
She went to him and let the tip of the whip lick his cheek. "Ever had really hard sex?"  
"Never," Tuomas whispered.  
"Really? How come?"  
"You ... you were my first ..."  
Tarja's mouth stood open. "What?"  
Tuomas moved. "Free me."  
"Oh, no. I was ... I was your first? In bed??" Tarja crawled on his body again. "Tell me the truth, this is not a game."  
"I'm not lying. I must not lie," Tuomas said and Tarja stroke his face.  
"Baby ..." She unbuttoned his shirt. "Oh baby ..." Then she bent down and kissed his chest. "Listen, I'm going to undress you now and give you a blowjob -"  
Tuomas gasped and Tarja covered his mouth. "And then you'll give me pleasure with only your mouth. If you fail ... I will use my friend here." She whipped the air. Tuomas winced and nodded.  
Tarja crawled down and opened his pants. And only a few seconds later, the devil was sucking his cock. Tuomas wished to take her horns. What if they were real? What if she really was the devil? He decided he didn't care. He loved her. And her feet looked normal ...  
He gasped. She was good... knew exactly where to touch him, how fast to go, what to do ... he tried not to think of how she knew. And when he came into her mouth, she sat up. Looked at him. And as Tuomas opened his eyes, she swallowed.  
"You taste good," she said.  
"You ... you ... have something on your lips ..."  
"Oh?" She placed herself on him again and kissed him. "Come on, now. Your turn."  
She got out of the red suit and was now completely naked. The whip still in her hand, she sat down on the bed.  
"Tarja, I've never ..."  
"Me neither," Tarja whispered.  
"You've never ..."  
"Given a blowjob. There's a first time for everything, my love."   
Tuomas believed her. He stretched out his arms, caressing her belly with his cuffed hands. "Part your legs ..."  
She did. And Tuomas moved forward, pressed his lips on her entry and inserted his tongue. Both of them gasped at the sensation and Tarja let fast the whip down without purpose. It hit his back and he moaned.  
"Sorry... I was - surprised," she gasped. Tuomas closed his eyes. Her taste was beyond good and evil. He sucked, licked, bit and thrust. And Tarja came soon after, staining his beard and the bed wet.   
"Oh God... yes ... Tuomas, oh my fucking God... Tuomas!! You're so good ..." she grabbed his hair as he continued sucking.  
"Oh my ..."  
"Tarja," Tuomas groaned. "I'm so hard ... let me take you. Please. Let's continue that later, I need to release myself ..."  
Tarja couldn't be that evil. She laughed and allowed him to take her. He cupped her face as good as he could, leaned down and kissed her while entering her. He made mind blowing love to her before they went on with their little game ...


	13. Chapter 13

"I wish I could stay here forever ..." Tarja sighed and turned around to face him.  
"Then do ..." Tuomas smiled.  
"I can't, I need to drive back later. Stupid college ..."  
"Shall I drive you?"  
Tarja looked at him. "You would?"  
"I'd spend as much time as possible with you," Tuomas said gently and stroke her cheek. Tarja smiled.  
"Then I'd feel honoured if you could drive me," Tarja said.  
"Okay, I will," Tuomas stroke a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Tell me ... are we officially together?"  
"Well - not officially. I need to break up with Janne first. Then yes."   
Tuomas opened his mouth to say something, as he suddenly heard a vibration. "Is that your phone?"  
"Yes. Ignore it."  
But the vibration didn't stop, so Tarja groaned and picked up.  
"Janne!"  
"Hi, baby. When are you going to come back?"  
Tarja eyed Tuomas. "Uhm ... around six."  
"Perfect. I miss you so much."  
Tarja didn't answer.  
"Did you give the earrings back?"  
"No, I didn't give the earrings back," Tarja said harshly.  
"What? Is everything okay?"  
"Everything's perfect, Janne." Tarja smiled at Tuomas. Because of him everything was perfect.  
"Okay ... why didn't you give the earrings back?"  
"See you later, Janne," Tarja answered and hung up. And muted her phone. "I'm going to tell him the truth."  
"That you cheated on him?"  
Tarja nodded. "Yeah ... he's a good guy. And he didn't do anything bad, he was just unlucky that I didn't love him."  
"Okay," Tuomas said and then sat up. "The earrings," he suddenly said. "Do you want to keep them?"  
Tarja blushed. "Yes ... I got them from my boyfriend..."  
"Oh, my love," Tuomas sighed and pulled her into a deep kiss.

"You look perfect," Tuomas mumbled after he had put the earrings on her. "And now you're marked as my girl."  
"In more ways than one," Tarja giggled and pushed her choker up a bit to reveal a small love bite.  
Tuomas kissed it and got out of the car. Tarja followed him.  
They walked side by side, as suddenly Tuomas took her hand. Tarja smiled at him. Around ten to fifteen people were watching them.  
"Tarja! Tuomas!"  
"Hi, Emppu!" Tarja embraced her best friend.   
"Ahhh, you're wearing the earrings! And you're holding hands!" Emppu was jumping up and down.  
"Yes, we're together," Tarja giggled and Tuomas kissed her temple.  
Emppu wanted to tell them how happy he was for them, as someone behind him said,  
"Tari??"  
Emppu stepped aside.  
"Hello, Janne."  
"Tarja, what ... huh?" He looked from Tuomas to Tarja. "Is this ... your ex?"  
"Yes," Tarja mumbled. "Janne, we - we talked a little and then one thing led to the other and ... we're dating again. You were only a makeshift. I'm so sorry ..."  
"You cheated on me?" Janne asked shocked.  
"Janne - I'm so sorry ..."  
"Oh my God." Janne stared at her. "I didn't know you were such a whore."  
"Don't call her a whore!" Tuomas hissed and clenched his fists.   
"Well, she is. Don't you think so too? Wait - didn't you call her a whore before?" Janne was ready to fight.  
"I - I ..." Tuomas stared at Tarja. "You told him?"  
Tarja lifted her shoulders. "Well ... yeah ..."  
Tuomas looked back at Janne. "That was long time ago. Before I noticed how amazing and lovely she was."  
"Oh? I've always known about this loveliness. I've loved her for more than a year."  
"And yet you called her a whore." Tuomas grabbed Tarja's hand. "I'm sorry but she's going to choose me."  
Janne looked at Tarja. "Are you sure? He seems quite ... unloyal."  
Tarja gasped. "He'd never, never cheat on me. The reason for our break up was something else but now we'll stay together. So yes, Janne. I chose him. I love him. Ever wondered why I never told you back that I loved you?"  
"No," Janne said. "I knew why you didn't. But I loved you so much I didn't care. Okay, then." He looked around. "You all saw how she broke my heart, now leave," he barked at the students around them. Then he turned around and ran away.  
And Tarja turned to Tuomas. "I broke his heart ..." she buried her face in his chest. Tuomas caressed the back of her head.  
"I'm sorry, really."  
"Oh Tuo I'm such an asshole."  
"No," Tuomas tried to calm his girlfriend. "You had to. Otherwise you would've broken my heart and you're too good to do that. Right?"  
"I'm too good ... have I ever heard that out of your mouth before?"  
Tuomas chuckled. "You will forever, my love." He kissed her lips and Emppu and Sirja cheered from a few metres away.

After Tuomas had met Tarja's friends, the two walked through the city. As they came to Alchemy Gothic, Tarja pulled him inside.   
She gripped his hand and pulled him directly to the counter.  
The punk lady was currently arranging something on the desk, but as she looked up, she gasped. "Tarja!"  
"Hi, Niina. Look at the earrings ..." Tarja stroke her hair back and Niina smiled.  
"They look fabulous." Then she looked at Tuomas and their entwined hands. "And you finally told her what you feel?"  
"You noticed?" Tuomas asked weakly and Niina laughed.  
"I just know I'd never buy earrings like this for just 'a friend'. And the way you looked when you talked about her - it wasn't hard to guess."  
"Really? It was that obvious?" Tuomas smiled shyly. If Niina had noticed ... had Tarja's mother noticed as well?  
"Quite. It was so cute," Niina laughed and suddenly Tarja cleared her throat.  
"Yes he's the cutest. Niina, do you still have that green corset somewhere?"  
"Sure, I put it aside for you. One moment."  
Niina turned and walked to the backside of the shop. Tarja wrapped her arms around her boyfriend.  
"Is something wrong, my love?"  
"I enjoy it when you call me your love." Tuomas smiled. "But it's just - Niina noticed I was in love with you when I was here. I ... sometimes talked about you to your mother."  
"You think she noticed?" Tarja grinned at him. "And if? I'll have to officially introduce you two anyway. She could soon become your mother-in-law." She winked. But just as he wanted to answer, Niina came back and he had no chance to ask her if she meant it.  
The pink haired woman was carrying a green corset that looked a lot like Steampunk. Tuomas had informed himself. The colour of the green was, of course, similar to her eyes.  
"Come," Tarja said, took both the corset and her boyfriend and dragged them towards the dressing room. She pushed Tuomas inside and closed the curtains. And started undressing.  
Tuomas watched her with a dry mouth. He couldn't believe she was his ... so many things had happened in only one day.  
"Hm?" Tarja whispered as she noticed his look. Tuomas smiled down and touched her waist.  
"Nothing... I just love you..."  
"I love you too," Tarja said. It felt so good saying it. It felt right.  
"How did you mean that with your mother?" Tuomas asked courageously.   
"Well, I need to introduce you as my boyfriend," Tarja said and patted his chest.  
"No. I meant ... that 'mother-in-law'. It confused me a bit."  
"Why?" Tarja absently rubbed a button of his shirt. "How could I mean it? Hmm ..." She looked up to him. "Are priests allowed to marry?"  
"Yes ... sure ..." Tuomas swallowed. His face felt hot all of a sudden and he thought back of Tarja in that white, gothic dress. This time he was standing next to her, wearing a black suit and a hat. They were exchanging rings ...  
"Oh I love to tease you," Tarja giggled and patted his chest again. "Now tell me what you think of that corset, okay?"  
He helped her getting into the corset and closing it. When she turned around, his breath got caught.  
"I just fell in love again..."  
"Charmer."  
Tuomas grabbed his girlfriend's waist, pulled her against him and kissed her. After a long kiss they pulled apart. Smiled at each other.  
"Shall I buy it?" Tarja asked but Tuomas shook his head. Tarja's face fell. "No? Why not?"  
"Because I'm going to buy it."  
"No ..." Tarja tried to protest but he kissed her again.

Later they left the shop, Tuomas carrying Tarja's bag. He knew that corsets weren't cheap and he wanted the love of his life to save her money for important things. But since he wanted her to be sexy as well, he bought the corset for her. And she was happy, she held his hand and jumped up and down while they walked. She let go of his hand once to pet a cat that crossed their way. Then they continued walking, Tarja's eyes hanging in the sky.  
He loved to see her like this.  
So, so happy.

They walked back to the campus, to his car. Tarja pulled him into a long embrace. "I'll return on Saturday..."  
"I'll pick you up, your car is in Kitee," Tuomas mumbled into her ear. "I'll be there around 11, we could eat something together."  
"Okay," Tarja smiled. "Sounds nice. I love you so much ..."  
She closed her eyes and so did Tuomas. "You have no idea how much I love you."  
They stood there and hugged. And then Tarja pushed him away gently. "I don't even have your number yet."  
"Oops," Tuomas laughed. "It all went so fast." He took her phone and typed his number into it. "Text me. Or call me. Anytime."  
"I will," Tarja promised and got on her toes to kiss him.

"Naww. She really loves him," Sirja sighed from afar. "She never kissed Janne like that."  
"Poor Janne though," Emppu mumbled and Sirja threw a look at him.  
"Go chase him. Maybe he has enough of girls for a while ..."  
"No... he's not my type," Emppu said with a shrug and Sirja reached out to pat the blonde's shoulder. "Now look at them, they're eating each other."  
"Oh crap. The movie is about to start." Sirja whistled loudly and laughed as the couple jumped apart. "Get in, loser! We're going to the cinema!"  
Tarja showed her middle finger to her friends but after another, shorter kiss, she walked to them, her cheeks reddened. She said nothing, she just walked by and towards her car.

Tuomas leaned back. He had to calm from that kiss ...  
She had told him she loved him. They were a couple. They had kissed so many times ...  
Now he would wait until she called him.

She didn't call but she texted.  
He received a message at eleven, with a beating heart he opened the message.  
Your lips on mine  
I still feel them  
Your hands in mine  
So soft and gentle  
Your voice in my ear  
Never heard a sound more beautiful  
As you told me you loved me  
My world stood still  
Because  
Forever yours I truly wish to be  
It was from her. No doubt. She was a poet, he had known it. Now what should he write back? He wiped his tears away and wrote:  
I'm not a poet. Not a master of big words. But your poem made me cry. I miss you. I want to feel your hand in mine again as we lay side by side, drifting into sleep. I love you, you are my world. Forever mine you will be. Sleep well, my beauty. And dream of me.

Everything she saw, she saw through pink glasses. She jumped around, couldn't stop thinking of him. On Tuesday evening she called her mother.  
"Tari! Is something? You never called before."  
"Yeah... Janne and I broke up."  
"Oh sweetie ... I'm so sorry." Marjatta sounded sad.  
"No, don't be. I broke up," Tarja said. "So feel sorry for him... see, I - uh - remember that guy who visited me when I was ill?"  
"That guy who left you after you -"  
"Yes," Tarja said quickly.  
"I remember him. You didn't want to tell his name to me. Why are you asking?"  
"Because ... well ... he and I are together now. Officially." She spoke quickly, making it impossible for her mother to interrupt. "We had a talk and came to the conclusion that we love each other. So yeah... I spent the weekend with him. We belong together."  
"Oh. So - I'll meet him?"  
"Yes," Tarja promised. "Soon."


	14. Chapter 14

Tuomas did what he had promised and picked her up on Saturday. As she saw him, she jumped towards him and threw herself into his arms. They kissed each other for a long time before they were finally able to stop.  
"I missed you," Tuomas said and stroke his girl's cheek. "I still have your toys at home but it's not so funny to cuff my hand at the bed and wait for myself to open them."  
Tarja laughed and slung her arms around his neck. "I bet it's not so funny alone... did you touch yourself while thinking of me?" she asked smugly but Tuomas shook his head.  
"It's against my promise to do that. Did you?"  
Tarja pulled his face down. "Oh yes," she breathed into his ear. "But it's not the same ..."  
"Soon," Tuomas whispered back and took her hands. He kissed her again. "And then you can show me how you do it to yourself."  
"Oh, you'd like that ..."  
They both chuckled. And then they just looked at each other with gentle gazes, until a rumble broke their sweet staring.   
"You're hungry," Tuomas laughed. "Come on, baby, I booked a place for us."  
Tarja grinned. How he called her baby ...

Tuomas brought her far away, farer from Kitee than she had thought. But she wasn't scared, she trusted him.  
After buying a snack in Savonlinna, he brought her to a nice restaurant in Mikkeli.  
After eating, he paid the food and then told her to come with him. He brought her to a hotel and told her that he wanted to spend the weekend with her. Tarja was over the moon.  
In the evening they went to theatre, where they currently staged Phantom of the Opera. Tarja's eyes were shining during the whole musical. "You knew I loved this musical!" Tarja said after it was over.  
"I didn't know but I hoped," said Tuomas with a smile. "I only knew you loved music and poetry, the rest was a lucky guess. Now come on, I'm starving."  
He bought noodles to go from the Chinese and then they sat down on a bench in the park. Tarja had her head leaned against his shoulder, opening her mouth every now and them to get fed by him.  
"Tell me about you," Tuomas suddenly said. "I know nothing about you."  
He was right. They were a couple but didn't know anything about each other.  
"Well my birthday is on August seventeenth," Tarja started.  
"August I knew," Tuomas chuckled and took her hand. "Go on. Favourite colour?"  
"Black."  
"No big surprise. Animal?"  
"I love cats," Tarja said.  
"Me too." Tuomas squeezed her hand. "And my favourite colour is the colour of your eyes."  
"Green?"  
"That very special green," Tuomas said gently. "Not every green, no. Tarja's eyes-green."  
Tarja laughed.  
"Favourite band?"  
"Don't make me choose ..." Tarja sighed and thought. "I like every metal band. But I prefer female fronted ones because it makes me sure that I'll be a singer too one day."  
"You surely will be," Tuomas told her.  
"Have you ever heard me sing by the way? Besides what you saw on my camera?" Tarja asked but Tuomas shook his head again. "Then you soon will. What was your favourite subject in school?"  
"Religion," Tuomas said promptly. "And sports."  
"My two least favourites," Tarja laughed. "Mine were music and English."  
"No surprise," Tuomas said again. "When did you start your model career?"  
"When I was 16. My boyfriend back then didn't want me to dress gothic and made me choose. Guess what I chose." She grinned at him. "He was the last boyfriend I had until I met you. Well besides Janne but he doesn't count."  
"You didn't have anyone for almost five years?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded slowly.   
"Well ... most guys were afraid of me."  
"I was a little afraid of you as well," Tuomas said. "I thought you were a witch."  
"I am a witch," Tarja answered. "Now go on asking."  
"I'm out of questions," Tuomas said, so Tarja went on.  
"Your parents' names?"  
"Kirsti and Pentti. And I have two older siblings called Petri and Susanna."  
"My third name is Susanna," Tarja said and Tuomas' look softened.   
"What's your second name?"  
"Soile."  
"Wow ..." Tuomas put his hand on her cheek. "Tarja Soile Susanna... what a name."  
"It's pretty long."  
"Mine is longer. Tuomas Lauri Johannes. And then my last name ..."  
"I love it," Tarja mumbled. "I have two brothers."  
"Two? I thought you only had one."  
"Two, as far as I remember. Toni and Timo, I think."  
"You think?" laughed Tuomas.   
"Haven't seen Timo in months," Tarja sighed. "He could be a father already and I wouldn't know."  
"Then he doesn't know about your sins?"  
"No one besides you knows about my sins," Tarja purred and kissed her lover's chest.  
"Good," Tuomas mumbled. Then he put the noodles away and embraced Tarja. "What about if we walk to the hotel and sin a bit more?"  
"Mh... I'd like that," Tarja mumbled.

And how they sinned.  
For the whole night they sinned.   
As Tuomas pressed her naked and sweaty body against his, kissed her good night and told her that he loved her, a line went through his head.  
Fall in love with your deep dark sin.  
"You're my deep dark sin," he mumbled against her shoulder blade.  
She chuckled. "That's good..."

Tarja sat up and stretched herself.  
What a night ...  
She turned around but Tuomas was gone. But there was a note ... he left a note!! Tarja panicked. If he left, she'd have to go back to Savonlinna by bus and God knew how long that could last. She grabbed the note.  
My dearest love,  
don't be scared, I didn't leave.  
Tarja let out a breath.  
I went for a walk. Mikkeli has a beautiful church and I wanted to pray a little. I didn't wake you since I know you wouldn't have cared ...  
I'll be back soon. I love you so, so much.  
Tarja frowned. She wouldn't have cared? So he didn't tell her he was going to pray inside a church because she didn't care about churches or what?  
She rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling. She didn't care about religion because she didn't believe in any of those stories but ... she loved churches. Churches were beautiful and a perfect place for photo shootings.   
She decided to stand up and go down to eat breakfast.

As she was sitting there and eating, Tuomas came back.  
"Hey, babe."  
"Hi," Tarja replied, her mouth full with cereals. "Why didn't you wake me?"  
"Did you find my note?'' Tuomas sat down opposite of her.  
"Yeah." Tarja swallowed and drank some milk after it. "Almost got a heart attack. Now tell me, why didn't you wake me? I would have loved to take a walk through the city with my lover."  
"I was mostly in a church, sweetie. After that night I felt like praying a lot."  
"Confessing your sins?" Tarja grinned.  
"Yes." Tuomas looked at her. "We're not married."  
"Oh." Tarja avoided his look, concentrating on her bowl. "Is - uh - is it so bad that we aren't married?"  
"No. For me not but yet it's a sin to ... you know. I promised myself to only do it with a woman I intend to marry one day."  
Tarja blushed. "And it's me...?"  
"Of course!" Tuomas took her hand across the table. "Do you think I'd leave you now?"  
"Well after ... that note you left me in your shirt ... see, as I saw the paper this morning I - I almost got a heart attack. Please don't ever write notes to me again. That last time you were gone and did ... it was just too hard for me. This morning I already thought about looking for bus connections back to Savonlinna."  
"Do you really think I'd do that?" Tuomas laughed loudly. "Even if I wanted to break up, I would drive back with you first. And after a night like this ... hell yes, I will have to pray every morning but it'll be worth it. Until we marry."  
Tarja grinned at him.  
"What?"  
"You swore," Tarja answered, still grinning.  
"Oh, well," Tuomas laughed. "You're already having a bad influence on me."  
"Good." Tarja still grinned.

Later Tuomas and Tarja went to the church again. They held hands as they got inside, held hands as they sat down in the first bench.  
Tarja admired the beautiful insides and Tuomas admired his beautiful girlfriend looking around this wonderful place.  
"Wanna pray?" he asked her and she looked at him.  
"No. Oh no, don't make me pray. Really."  
Tuomas laughed and took her hand, folded them. "Speak after me. Forgive me God."  
"Never!" Tarja laughed quietly and freed her hands from his grip. She grabbed his collar, pulled him down and made their lips collide.  
After a heated kiss she whispered, "I love to sin and I will never ask anyone for forgiveness."  
"You're a good kisser so ... you don't have to ask anyone for forgiveness," Tuomas mumbled.   
"Because I'm a good kisser?" Tarja chuckled and stroke his chest.  
"Yes, I -"  
Tuomas went silent as the ringing of Tarja's phone interrupted him.  
"Sorry," Tarja mumbled and pulled her phone out. "Oh god..." she picked up. "Mum?"  
"Hi sweetie," Marjatta said. "How are you?"  
"I'm ... fine. Thanks."  
"Are you with your boyfriend?"  
Tarja could practically hear her mother's grin.  
"Eh - yes. Yes I am. He's sitting next to me." She grimaced at Tuomas.   
"Oh, really? Can I talk to him?"  
"No. No mum, that's not a good idea."  
"What?" Tuomas mumbled.   
"She wants to talk to you."  
Tuomas shook his head quickly. She'd recognise his voice.  
"No, mum. Really not. I'll introduce you soon."  
"I know your soon," Marjatta commented. "Your soon means something between a month and two years."  
"Mother, I promise. I'll introduce you ... ehm ... very soon."  
Marjatta sighed. "Is he good to you? Did he apologise for leaving you? Did he have a good reason? Does he love you?"  
"Yes to all four questions," Tarja answered. "I promise you, you'll accept him."  
"Just introduce him before you break up. I didn't meet Janne either."  
"Mum, we won't break up. Right?" Tarja looked at Tuomas.   
"Right. We'll never," Tuomas said lowly and squeezed her hand. He wanted this amazing woman forever.  
"Okay, he said we won't break up. Can I call you later? We're inside a place I shouldn't have phone calls."  
"What, are you in a church?" Marjatta commented dryly. "But okay, call me later. Say hello to your mysterious boyfriend I don't know the name of."  
Tarja chuckled. "Bye, mum." Then she hung up. "Hello from my mum."  
"If she only knew it was me ..." Tuomas hugged her. "When do you want to introduce us?"  
"I don't know, next weekend?"  
"Next weekend I'll visit my parents, baby," Tuomas said gently. "But you can come with me."  
Tarja paled. "As your official girlfriend? Oh, I rather wait. Last time I got introduced to someone's parents ... well. The whole relationship didn't end well."  
"Because of me," Tuomas reminded her. "But okay, I will only tell them of you."  
"Yes. Show them pictures so they can prepare themselves."  
"Oh I will. Because if I tell them that you're the most beautiful girl they've ever met - let's just say it's an understatement and when they see you, they'll think of you as an angel. That's what I think at least ..."  
Tarja blushed. "Come on ..."  
"No, I'm honest." He leaned his forehead against hers and caressed her chin. "Why are you so beautiful ...?"  
Tarja smiled and then their lips met in a gentle way.  
She couldn't believe she had found him. A man who loved her more than anything, a man who thought of her as the most beautiful girl on earth. A man whom she loved back with her heart. He was gentle, caring, beautiful, loving and handsome. He was shy but around her he was talkative. They pulled apart and smiled at each other. Both were sure that this was right.


	15. Chapter 15

"Is something wrong? You're so deep in thoughts."  
Tuomas looked up from his plate. "Huh?"  
"You're absent," his mother said. "I was wondering if there's something wrong. How's Kitee?"  
"Kitee is amazing," Tuomas answered. "The people are much nicer than here."  
"That's wonderful. And why are you deep in thoughts?"  
"Because ... I've been wanting to tell you something ever since I came here," Tuomas said slowly.   
His mother sat down. "What? Tell me!"  
"No, I'll wait until dad comes back," Tuomas decided and his mother crossed her arms, looking at him with an intense look.  
"Did you impregnate someone?"  
Tuomas knew he should laugh but he was so shocked by his mother's words. "N-no!"  
"Then why do you look at me like this?" Kirsti asked and then sighed. "I know you wouldn't do that. You told me about your promise."  
Tuomas nodded, his hands sweaty. His mother was very accepting but his father was different. Religion was his life. He believed everything that was in the bible. He was proud of his son, a priest. He'd never accept Tarja in his life. Tuomas was only glad that she was a woman, if Tuomas would bring a man with him, his father would throw him out within a second. Tuomas thought of Emppu. If he came to their wedding, which of course he would do, he had to find a way to make him stay away from his parents. But this wasn't important now.  
"Well ... yes," Tuomas mumbled and avoided his mother's look. Gladly Pentti came back in that very moment.   
"Oh. Tuomas has news for us," Kirsti said promptly and Tuomas almost dropped his fork. She always came to the point immediately.  
"Yes." Tuomas decided to just say it. "I have a girlfriend."  
"Oh really??" Kirsti squealed. "I already thought so. How come? Name? Picture??"  
Tuomas laughed and looked at his father.  
"Well ... congratulations, son. Is it serious?"  
"Very. She's my life." He sighed. "We uh - met in church. Her name is Tarja. Tarja Turunen."  
"Beautiful name," Kirsti said. "Picture?"  
"Yes, w-wait," Tuomas stuttered and pulled his phone out. Tarja had sent him a picture he could show to his parents. She was dressed in black as usual, her sleeves were lacy and she was wearing a hat. They had chosen this picture because it was one of the rare ones where she wasn't wearing a cross or a black lipstick. And she was smiling, so it was even better. And her tattoos weren't visible.  
He looked at the picture. She was so, so beautiful.  
"Okay before I'm going to show it to you - she doesn't look normal. I mean she does look normal but she doesn't dress normal." His parents looked at him with raised brows. "She's - she's a goth. That's what made me notice her. And fall in love ..."  
"It's okay, show is the picture," Pentti said and Tuomas did, glad that his father had said it was okay.  
"Nice," Kirsti commented. "She's pretty. And she doesn't look that gothic."  
"We chose a ... more innocent picture," Tuomas said and held his breath. He looked at his father.  
"I'm not judging anyone by looks, you know that," Pentti said. "If I did, I wouldn't allow your long hair. Tarja looks nice to me. How is she?"  
"She's the sweetest person alive," Tuomas started. "She's so gentle and loving but at the same time so fierce an sure of herself... she's perfect. She knows she's pretty but doesn't show it too much. She's the leader of her friends but doesn't spoil it. She loves me too. I tell you, she's the one for me."  
His parents smiled at their obviously in love son. "We can't wait to meet her."

"They can't wait to meet me?" Tarja giggled and rolled over on her bed to lie at her stomach. "Wow. Did you tell them I'm an atheist?"  
"No. Your faith is none of their business."  
"You think they won't accept me if they find out?"  
"It doesn't matter, Tari." Short silence. "What are you doing?"  
"I'm missing you," Tarja said quietly. "Terribly."  
"Miss you too," Tuomas sighed and closed the door to his old room. "I've been thinking of ... you know ... touching myself even."  
"Really?" Tarja grinned. "I can help you if you want to."  
"Not now," Tuomas quickly said. "If my parents hear me, I'm doomed."  
Tarja laughed. "Do you have Skype? Or another video chat?"  
Tuomas' face went red. "No I don't... why?"  
"Because I want to video chat with you," Tarja purred and laughed. "Download it to your laptop. I'm going to write my username to you."

Tuomas did. He downloaded Skype, added Tarja and only a few minutes later he received a video chat request.   
With shaking hands he accepted it and there she was, his beauty. The quality wasn't all too good but it was okay. She smiled at him.  
"Hi babe," she said gently and leaned forward. Oh, she was teasing him again because her cut out was deep.  
"Tarja, don't do that or I'll have to -"  
"Okay, I get you," Tarja chuckled. "Later? Sirja is not here tonight, so it's the only chance to try it..."  
Tuomas thought of it. "Okay. When? My parents usually stay awake until half past 10."  
"Hm ... I'm about to go out. I'll try to be back at twelve? Is that okay for you?"  
"Very," Tuomas said gently.

Him and his parents were sitting downstairs until eleven. They had some drinks and finally his parents told him they would go to bed. Tuomas nodded and wished them a good night.  
He went upstairs as well and locked his door. Then he sat down, opened a book and read until she called him.  
"Hi Tuo!" she giggled once he accepted. "I'm a little drunk, sorry."  
Tuomas smiled sadly. "How much did you drink?"  
"Just a little. But still too much. Now let's start!" She placed her laptop on the bed before her and removed her corset. "This shit ..."  
"Wish I could help you."  
"Shh, I'm done soon. See?" She threw the corset to the floor. His mouth was dry. He wanted to caress her breasts...  
"You're so beautiful," he breathed. He could already feel his erection grow.  
"Lean back and enjoy, I'm going to strip for you, babe," she whispered into the camera and got up to remove her black jeans. And lace underwear.  
She was totally naked now.   
Tuomas did what she had told him and leaned back in await. He had already undressed as well and was now lying there only in his boxer shorts. He watched her with a dry mouth, watched her grab and squeeze her own breasts, watched her throw her head back and moan, just as he was with her. She parted her legs and placed her hand between them. He watched him caress herself and grew more and more needy.  
She inserted a finger into herself and started rocking her hip back and forth. Tuomas' manhood grew harder. He wanted to help her but he couldn't.   
After a while she pulled out her fingers, after the first she had inserted a second and third as well, and looked at them. As she pulled them apart, Tuomas could see her sticky juices on them. He moaned quietly. He wanted to lick her dry.  
"Perfect ..." Tarja whispered and stuck her fingers into her mouth, sucking on her fingers. "Mh... oh God... I'm so wet."  
"I can see that," Tuomas whispered. What was she doing next? She was reaching into the drawer of a nightstand and ...  
pulled out a black vibrator.  
"I bought this thing last week. After you told me you'd be gone this weekend ..." she switched it on and the black thing started buzzing.   
And then - Tuomas wanted to moan loudly. He pressed a hand on his mouth as Tarja leaned back and spread her legs widely, reached down and pulled her lips apart. He had a beautiful sight into the depths of her vagina. "Tarja..." he moaned quietly. He was so hard now it hurt.  
Tarja leaned her head back and slowly pushed the buzzing toy into herself. She gasped.  
Tuomas bit his lip and watched her push it inside, pulling it out, pushing it inside again. And so on. She sighed and moaned and gasped, rocked her hips up and down, whispered his name.  
"Oh God, I miss you," she mumbled and reached down to touch her throbbing clit.  
Pushing the vibrator inside again, she suddenly came.   
It looked so different from his position; the muscles of her legs cramped and she crashed her upper body back at the pillow which was leaning against the head piece. Her mouth went open and her eyes rolled up. Her whole body was clenching and he could only imagine how tight she was right now ... how hard it would be to push this vibrator... or himself between her thighs right now.  
As she collapsed on her bed, he looked down on himself. His boxers were stained wet.   
He pulled them down and revealed his hard dick. There was something white dripping out of the tip, now running down his shaft. Tarja sat back up and smiled as she caught him staring at his penis.   
"Just wrap your hands around it. Be gentle," Tarja said and Tuomas looked at her.  
"I know how it works," he said, "I've just never done it before. But fuck, you're so hot ... believe me, watching you masturbating was... wow."  
"Did you cum?" Tarja whispered and eyed his wet tip.  
"Almost," Tuomas mumbled and took himself into his hands. "Okay, look ..." he started caressing himself. "Oh ... I wish you could do that..."  
"I'll help," Tarja said and positioned herself in front of the camera again. Without waiting she pushed the vibrator in again, moaning his name as if it was the only thing she knew.  
Tuomas moaned quietly and pumped faster. If she could only give him a blowjob now... she was so much better.  
But as he imagined her giving him a blowjob, it was as if he had pushed a button of his body. His blood started boiling, shot into his erection. Everything he could think of was her name. Now he knew that he was doing it right. It was as if he was fucking her.  
He closed his eyes, imagining her riding him, forgetting the fact that he was using his hands to bring himself to ecstasy. Her voice was so close as if she was indeed above him.  
"Tuomas... oh God, Tuo... bring me there again please, Tuomas ... my love!"  
And even though they weren't sleeping with each other in this very moment, they came in unison.  
Tuomas opened his eyes as he came down again, watched his love lie there, not able to move. "You're so good, Tuomas."  
Tuomas laughed quietly. "So are you, baby ..." he looked down at his cock. "I made quite some mess. Gotta wipe that all away ... Sadly I didn't have you to shoot everything inside of."  
"How that sounds," Tarja laughed and nodded. "You should come over this week."  
"I will. Just tell me when you have time."  
"For you ... always, my love," Tarja said gentle and leaned forward, kissing the camera.  
Tuomas laughed quietly. "I hope my parents didn't hear our moans ..."  
"I doubt it, we both were really quiet ..." Tarja smiled. "I want to cuddle with you right now.  
"Wish I could come over but it will last hours," Tuomas sighed.  
"Stay," Tarja said and yawned. "I'm pretty tired anyway. Let's talk tomorrow?"  
"Okay," Tuomas said and smiled at her.   
"Bye." Tarja waved at him and wanted to end the call, as Tuomas mumbled,  
"Wait..."  
Tarja looked a him. "Yes?"  
"I love you so much ..."  
"Love you too." Tarja kissed the camera again. "Love you so much."  
Then she ended the call and Tuomas leaned back for a while. He needed to calm down.  
Then he got up and took his boxers, wiping everything away from his skin. And the bed. It had even hit the laptop ...  
He stuffed the boxers into his backpack and went to bed.

And the next day he was the first who was up and ready for church.   
He prayed to God that his parents hadn't heard them and he was lucky - obviously they hadn't.   
When he came back from church, she had sent him a message:  
What you did with me, no one has done with me before.  
What you did for me, no one has done for me before.  
What you did to me, no one has done to me before.  
Stay by my side until it all gets dark forever because a life without you I wouldn't want to see.  
I love you.


	16. Chapter 16

And two weeks later her holidays started.  
While her friends were going out (and probably drinking their brains away), Tarja decided to spend the last day of college with the man she loved.  
'Strange,' Tarja thought as she was sitting next to him in the car. 'I used to drink a lot too but now that I'm with him ... Maybe I don't want to get wasted, knowing that he wouldn't like that.'  
"Are you okay?" Tuomas asked as he noticed that she was looking at him.  
"Sure. I'm fine. How couldn't I? We'll be together now, always and forever ..." Tarja grinned.  
"Are you going out tonight?" Tuomas asked with a smile.  
"Nope."  
"Tomorrow?"  
"No, Tuo. I only want to be with you."  
"Okay." Tuomas clenched the steering wheel nervously. "Then - uh - don't you want me to meet your friends?"  
Tarja was shocked. "What? Why shouldn't I?"  
"I don't know ... you didn't introduce me yet. I only know Emppu. And Satu."  
"And Marco," Tarja reminded him and Tuomas let out a short laugh.   
"Yes but I don't know them well. I want to meet them and talk to them ... you're my girlfriend and I think it's very important for our relationship that I'm close to your friends as well. What if they don't like me? You will leave me sooner or later?"  
"Oh shut up, I won't leave you," Tarja muttered and then she looked at him. "Okay. Wanna go out with me and my friends tonight?"  
Tuomas smiled. "If you want me to?"  
Tarja laughed and then leaned back. "And when will you introduce me to your friends?"  
"I don't really have friends," Tuomas said shyly.  
"What??" Tarja called. "How?"  
"Uhm... I don't know ... I had two best friends, Laura and Johan... Laura and I started dating and then everything went downhill."  
"You had a girlfriend?" Tarja asked, suddenly very interested. "You had a girlfriend with whom you didn't have sex?"  
"Yes. I'll tell you later," Tuomas promised.  
"And Johan? What about him? He sounds like a nice guy."  
"I haven't even said anything about him yet!" Tuomas laughed and nodded. "But he's a nice guy, yes. I could call him and arrange a date for us three."  
Tarja looked at him. "A date for three. You're not thinking of a threesome, aren't you? Anyway, if you do - yes. I'm totally on it. I'd be in the middle, oh, what a scenario!"  
Tuomas laughed again. That was his Tarja. 

Later he was cooking dinner. And suddenly something happened. Something beautiful.  
Two slim arms embraced him from behind and placed her chin on his shoulder. "Can I help you?" she whispered into his ear.  
Tuomas was speechless for a second as he remembered that daydream he once had. He tried.  
"You could stir ..." He gave her the spoon.  
And there she stood, in his kitchen. Cooking their dinner. He placed himself behind her and kissed her neck. "I love you so much, my beauty."  
She stopped stirring and looked at him. "Tuomas... I never thought I'd say that to a priest but - I love you more than words can say."  
His heart jumped happily.

"Tell me about you and Laura," Tarja said and took a bite from her potato strudel.  
"Hm," Tuomas chewed slowly. "What do you wanna hear?"  
"Everything," Tarja said.  
"Okay," Tuomas sighed. "Okay. So ... Laura. Her name is Laura Emilia Rappala. She ... studied theology with me. She wanted to be a teacher for religion. She was... well, not really my first love but kind of."  
"Wait, studied? How old were you when you were together?"  
"It was about three years ago," Tuomas said. "So we both were around twenty-two when we started dating -"  
"Sorry to interrupt you again but you found your first love with twenty-two? I found mine with eleven or so!" Tarja laughed.  
"Actually I found my first love a bit more than two months ago," Tuomas mumbled shyly. "Laura was just a crush."  
Tarja blushed a little. "Oh, Tuo ..."  
"I'll go on. Laura and I were best friends and suddenly it was just ... beautiful. She, I and Johan were friends for life but then Laura and I started dating. Johan felt like an outsider and looked for new friends. And Laura and I ... it wasn't really a relationship. First of all -"  
"You didn't have sex," Tarja commented.  
"Mostly because she didn't want to. She didn't feel ready but it was okay for me. But it wasn't really a relationship. Like yes, she and I were together and held hands and went on dates but it never felt like a relationship. We never kissed, we didn't talk about our future ... and when she got a job in Tampere, we broke up. I haven't seen her ever since and I don't miss her. So ... it wasn't really a story with many dramas, but still."  
"And you and Johan?"  
"We became friends again but then the same thing happened to him - he got a job. He's a teacher too, for religion and English."  
"Call him, I really want to meet him!" Tarja said and jumped up and down. "Maybe he has time tomorrow!"  
Tuomas laughed and promised her to call his friend.

Later the couple drove to the metal bar that Tarja always talked about. They only called it "Heavy" But Tuomas quickly found out that it was called Heavy Metal Rotation. And there he was. Marco. Standing outside, smoking a cigarette.   
"TARI!" he roared as he spotted Tarja and immediately pulled her into an embrace.  
"Ew! You stink, Marco. You'll never have a girlfriend if you continue like that," Tarja commented dryly and earned a slap on her ass.  
Tuomas tried not to grab the blonde man's collar.  
"Marco! Stop that shit!" Tarja scolded and grabbed Tuomas' hand. And then Marco looked at him.  
"Are priests allowed to party in a metal bar?" he asked with a grin.  
"They are," Tuomas said through gritted teeth.   
"Okay ... that could go better," Tarja sighed. "Marco, that's Tuomas. My boyfriend and love of my life. Lover, that's Marco. The best friend of Satu's boyfriend."  
Tuomas nodded stiffly and Tarja pulled him inside quickly. They came to stand by a table.  
"He still grabs your ass?" Tuomas asked quietly and Tarja sighed.   
"He's only joking, baby."  
"Yeah. Like I'm joking when I grab your boobs."  
"That's different." Tarja glared at him but then she hugged him. "You aren't jealous, are you?"  
"I'd like to have all of you for myself," Tuomas mumbled and Tarja patted his shoulder.  
"Stay here. I'll be back."  
And while Tuomas stayed at his table and watched Tarja, some girls came closer.  
"Hi, sweetie," one of them purred. "Wanna drink something special?"  
Tuomas immediately knew what she meant. "I'm here with my girlfriend," he said and looked back at Tarja. But they stayed until Tarja actually came back.  
"Shoo, he's mine!" she made them go away. And then she laughed. "I knew you're that kind of man I can't leave anywhere alone. Do you know how handsome you are?"  
"I'm not," Tuomas muttered. And then he saw the small glass in her hand. "I don't drink."  
"Just one shot to loosen your walls a bit." Tarja winked and Tuomas sighed.   
It was sweet and tasted like peaches.  
And it really helped to loosen his wall.  
Tarja and he danced a lot, kissed on the dance floor, danced, sang along, danced, kissed again ... and danced in a very sexy and seducing way.  
Emppu called it mating dance later.  
"You're just jealous," Tarja said and kissed his cheek before she returned back to the dance floor alone.  
"Jealous of you," Emppu muttered after her and drank another shot.  
"You'll find your one," Tuomas said gently and Emppu smiled.  
"You think so?"  
"Of course. Do you think I was expecting that Tarja was my true love? Now I'm just glad about how everything turned out. Even though she's dancing alone now and ... seems very drunk." Tuomas laughed.  
"Drunk Tarja is the dirtiest," Emppu laughed. "Will be wild sex tonight."  
"Okay then - I guess I'll grab Tarja and drive home. I'm tired," Tuomas said.  
"Suuure!" Emppu laughed.  
But Tuomas kept his promise. He grabbed Tarja, went to Satu and Jukka and then to Emppu to say goodbye, even went to Marco to wish him a nice night.  
"Why are you doing this?" Tarja complained as Tuomas stuffed her into the car and fastened her seat belt.  
"Because I want to have sex with you as quickly as possible," Tuomas whispered before he crashed the door close, circling the car and got inside as well.  
"Now? With me drunk? Not a good idea."  
"I think it is," Tuomas said and started the car. "Where to, miss?"  
Tarja grinned. "To the stars..."  
"Alright."

He stopped somewhere close to Kitee. It looked very lonely.  
"Here?" Tarja giggled as he leaned over. "Now?"  
"Don't you want to?"  
"I want to..." Tarja caressed his cheek. "I always want you. But in a car? I don't know."  
"Wait, I know how," Tuomas said. "You need to crawl back, come on."  
Tarja laughed as she crawled back and he slapped her ass. Then she positioned herself on the backseat and Tuomas went to the back, capturing her lips.

He had been successful. After some kissing she was very wild already, grabbing his shirt, wanting to pull it off him. And after she succeeded, she kissed him again, roaming her hands over his chest, scratching his skin. Oh yes, she was wild.  
Tuomas gasped as she just grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back. She opened his pants, pulled them down and started working on his cock without hesitation.  
"Tarja ..." Tuomas groaned as she took him into her mouth. Tarja couldn't talk. Her mouth was full.  
But she didn't wait until he came, while she was still sucking like crazy, she pushed her skirt up to touch herself. She moaned loudly and pulled back.  
"No..." Tuomas mumbled but Tarja covered his mouth with her lips. She climbed on him and sat down in his lap.  
His largeness was stretching her once again, after a long week of not making love. She placed her legs on each side of his thighs and started moving up and down. And Tuomas, still on the top from her blowjob, came.  
"My God... Tarja, why are you so perfect..." he moaned and Tarja rode him faster.   
"Bring me there ..." she gasped and threw her head back.  
And Tuomas, who didn't think of their position as comfortable, decided to push her back to the seat again. Sitting on the glove box wasn't comfortable at all.  
His mind still dizzy from the previous orgasm, he grabbed her butt and held her tightly against himself while he placed her on the seat.  
"What -" Tarja gasped. "No - I wanna be - on top!"  
"Shh," Tuomas soothed her and parted her legs wider to enter her deeper. He had buried himself completely inside of her as he kissed her again.  
But Tarja wanted it wild. She made herself tight around him, moved her pelvis. "Fuck me... fuck me," she mumbled.  
"Okay... okay..." Tuomas breathed and placed her down gently. He was on top of her now, thrusting against her in a both gentle and passionate movement. He fastened the speed when she pushed her pelvis up in await, she wanted more, she wanted it fast and hard. She dug her nails into his shoulder blades and moaned, "harder ..."  
Tuomas tried. He knew it didn't hurt her, he knew she was used to it already, but he still wanted to be careful. He pushed against her now, hard and fast. He wanted her to cum - and he succeeded.  
Without touching her clit this time.  
Tarja ripped her eyes open and grabbed his shoulders. "What - is this!!" she screeched and arched her back. The feeling was so much different, so much better than everything she had ever experienced. Her hands slid from his shoulders, her whole body was shaking all of a sudden. And then she stiffened as she came, moaning his name loudly and without an end. What was this, for real now? Tarja had never experienced an orgasm like this, so long and intense ...  
"How... did you do that..." Tarja whispered and pulled him close. With a last push he released himself. "Really now..." Tarja mumbled and looked at him. "How did you do that?"  
"What?" Tuomas mumbled and looked at her.  
"That orgasm was ... wow."  
Tuomas laughed. "Did you know that I'm a piano player?"  
Tarja shook her head, blushing lightly.   
"Now you know."  
"Anyway, why did you ask me?" Tarja mumbled.   
The priest grinned. "Because I've heard that dating a musician is the best thing you can do: singers do it louder, drummers hit it harder, guitarist finger faster and bassists do it deeper. And piano players are simply the best in hitting the G..."  
"Oh you ... dirty mouthed boy!" Tarja screamed and laughed.


	17. Chapter 17

The days passed.  
Tarja shuttled between her old home and her lover's home, only slept at his place though.  
Her mother constantly annoyed her with the wish to meet her daughter's boyfriend, but Tarja ignored her everytime and just left again.  
One day as she came back to the priest's house, her boyfriend was talking to someone on the phone.  
Tarja entered quietly and waved at him. He smiled, waved back and pointed into the kitchen.  
Tarja nodded and went to the kitchen, noticing that he had already cooked dinner. She took something from the stew and went to the table.  
"No, this weekend won't do. Tarja and I are busy." Tuomas said and nodded. He was staring into the calendar.  
"Next week ..." he looked up, eyeing Tarja.   
"Who?" Tarja asked.  
"Johan," Tuomas answered and Tarja jumped in her chair.  
"Yes! Next week is perfect! Wednesday?"  
"Wednesday?" Tuomas repeated and nodded again. "Okay, great. Let's meet in Helsinki, hm? At our old college at three?" Silence again. "Great! Looking forward. Yes. Yes I'll tell her. See you, pal." He hung up.  
"Wednesday at three we're going to meet Johan," he said and noted the date on their calendar. "Greetings from him."  
"Oh, thanks," Tarja said. "You told him about me?"  
"Yes, I first asked him if we could meet and as I asked if I could bring my girlfriend along, he wanted to know your name. How's the food?"  
"Amazing," Tarja said with a full mouth. "So - what are we going to do this weekend? You haven't told me yet!"  
Tuomas laughed. He wanted to surprise his dearest.

And the surprise was small but cute: a spontaneous trip to Lapland. They travelled by car, slept in a tent under the stars, made love to each other, went hiking through the beautiful nature.  
On their second night, they sat by a fire and talked.  
"I've always wanted to ask my dearest to marry me here," Tuomas said quietly.  
"Are you going to ask now?" Tarja asked, a little scared. But the priest laughed.  
"No, don't worry. That was when I was a kid. I'll think of something even more romantic."  
Tarja said nothing. What if he had actually planned to ask her, but her reaction had been negative? When would he ask her? Would she say yes?  
Tarja's mind was spinning.  
"It's amazing, right? So alone here..." Tuomas said after a while.  
"Oh yes, no one who can judge my looks," Tarja sighed happily.   
"Looks? Baby, you're dressed in a jumpsuit and jacket. You look as normal as someone can look."  
"I'm not wearing any make up and my glasses! How can you say I look normal?"  
"True, you don't look normal." Tuomas pinched her nose. "You look absolutely gorgeous and I'm glad that no one besides me can see you."  
Before she could answer, he pressed his lips on hers.  
Tarja moaned lightly. He always found a way to make her feel better.   
He lifted her up as if she was the lightest person on earth and carried her to their tent. Carefully he placed on the sleeping bag and closed the tent. Then he hovered over her, touching her face gentle.  
"My beauty..."  
"Don't beauty me, just fuck me," Tarja whispered and Tuomas quickly shut her mouth with his. They kissed for a felt eternity, in which Tuomas slowly opened her jacket and jumpsuit.   
"I love you so much," he sighed against her skin and again that feeling awoke, a prickling in Tarja's stomach. This was right, this was so right ...

"I'm going outside," Tuomas whispered into her ear.   
"What?" Tarja mumbled and looked at him.  
"Gotta... you know. Nature calls."  
"Need to pee?" Tarja grinned and Tuomas laughed and kissed her forehead. And then he vanished.   
Tarja yawned and looked for her boyfriend's pants, knowing that his phone was in there. She needed to check the time, it must have been deep in the night.  
Tarja pulled the jeans close and reached into the pocket which looked as if something was inside.  
And it was, but it wasn't his phone.  
It was a small, purple satin box.  
Tarja inhaled sharply. No ...  
Inside was a beautiful ring. Black. Gothic. Instead of a stone a black rose was on it. The ring itself looked like the stipe of the rose. A stipe with black leaves.  
Was this an engagement ring? Wow, he was taking this really serious...  
Tarja took the ring and carefully tried it - it fitted perfectly. Had he used a ring of hers to adjust it?  
Tarja felt hot all of a sudden. He had really intended to ask her. He had planned it. And she had fucked up everything.   
But did she want to marry him?  
The answer was yes, of course, but Tarja also knew that it was quite early. She didn't know his parents yet. She hadn't told her own parents about who her boyfriend was.  
"Okay, chill ..." Tarja told herself and wanted to put the ring back to where she had found it.  
But then she decided something.

As Tuomas came back, his beloved was sleeping. He crawled into his sleeping bag, yawned and closed his eyes.  
But suddenly she talked.  
"Did you want to ask me?"  
Tuomas opened his eyes. Tarja was staring at him and all of a sudden his heart started to beat faster. He knew what she meant, yet he asked, "What?"  
"If I want to marry you, idiot," Tarja said with a light smile.  
Tuomas sighed. "Yes. I wanted to ask you. But I won't. I promise."  
Tarja nodded slowly. "What would 'engaged' even mean? Is there a limited time span of being engaged? Or can two persons be engaged for three years, four years and so on?"  
"Of course," Tuomas answered. "There's no specification of being engaged. Why are you asking?"  
"Because ..." Tarja started and pulled her hand out of the sleeping bag. Tuomas gasped. She was wearing the ring.

"Last night was ..."  
"Special..."  
They smiled at each other.  
It was Monday now and they were putting all their things together. They had decided to drive to Helsinki and surprise his parents. They they'd stay until they would meet Johan.

Tarja was having mini heart attacks, the closer they came to the capital. First of all, she was about to meet her fiancé's parents. Second, she was about to meet her fiancé's parents in a jumpsuit, glasses and without make up. And third - she was engaged. Tuomas and her were engaged!  
She thought back of when they had been in the church's garden, teasing each other. Never ever had she thought to be engaged to the priest one day. Engaged!  
"What's wrong, baby?" Tuomas asked as they took the exit from the highway.  
"Ah, I'm just terribly nervous. What if they don't like me?"  
"I love you, so they cannot not like you," Tuomas answered sternly. "And if they don't, I don't ever want to see them again. I love my family, but you are more important to me now."  
"Oh baby," Tarja sighed and leaned back.  
Tuomas stopped the car in front of a yellow house.  
"We're here."  
Tarja got out of the car, looked around and then at him. "That's it? You lived outside of Helsinki? This area is rather country than city."  
"Yes," Tuomas chuckled. "It was beautiful here but it took me forty minutes to get into school."  
"Ugh, that sucks," Tarja commented and took his hand.  
Tuomas led her to the house. Tarja was shaking as her boyfriend rang the doorbell - and then an old man with white hair and a soft facial expression opened the door. Tarja's heart jumped. He looked exactly like Tuomas - but old.  
"Tuomas! I didn't expect you."  
"We were on our way to Helsinki and thought, hey, why aren't we visiting the Holopainens?" Tuomas smiled, while Tuomas' father eyed Tarja.   
"Okay ... come in. I had Tarja differently in mind."  
They stepped inside. "We're on our way back from Lappi," Tuomas explained. "Tarja has her outfit in the suitcase."  
"Driving in a car for seven or eight hours is not that comfortable with a corset," Tarja said carefully and was relieved as Tuomas' father laughed. And then he gave his hand to her.   
"I'm Pentti. Welcome in our family, gal." He eyed her ring. "Really. Welcome."  
Tarja blushed.  
"Where's mum?" Tuomas asked after they took a seat at the table.  
"Grocery shopping."  
"Mind if I... change?" Tarja looked down at herself. "And I'd like to take a shower - may I?"  
"Ah, of course. Come with me, love, I'll show you the bathroom," Tuomas said and led her upstairs.  
He showed her his old room and then let her enter the bathroom. Then he promised her to bring the suitcase inside - in one of them was Tarja's gothic outfit after all. He kissed her sweetly.  
"You know we won't be able to have sex for a few days now?" he mumbled against her lips and Tarja chuckled.  
"Well, you better get used to that ..."  
Tuomas' eyes widened. "What?"  
"I'm a woman!" Tarja laughed. "I have my period every now and then."  
"Oh, sure." Tuomas had been quite shocked first. Thinking that she wanted to break up, now that they were engaged. He laughed. "I don't know what I've been thinking. Love you, baby." He kissed her forehead. "See you later."

After he came down for a second time, done with preparing his old room, he saw his mother.  
"Mum!"  
"Oh, Tuo!" Kirsti called excitedly and hugged her son. "Glad you made it. I can't wait to meet her."  
"She's drying her hair," Tuomas said. He was very nervous.   
"Yes, Pentti told me she had taken a shower. Where have you been?"  
"Lapland. I ... uh ..."  
"Asked her to marry you?" Kirsti raised her brows and Tuomas laughed. His mother was too smart.  
"Actually I didn't."  
"But you're engaged," Pentti said.  
"Yes. I'll explain. Just wait a few minutes."  
Tuomas prepared some coffee and Kirsti cut a cake in slices. And then his love came down, wearing a white blouse and black vest, black trousers and lace gloves.  
"Tarja!" Kirsti said and smiled at her. Tarja blushed.  
"Hi, I'm Tarja," she stuttered and the women shook hands.  
"I know. Show me your ring!" Kirsti demanded and Tarja showed it to her. She had shoved the ring over the glove. "Wow. Congratulations. He didn't ask you? How come you're engaged, then?"  
Tarja was overwhelmed. Kirsti treated her as if they've known each other for years already.  
"I found the ring and asked him about it," Tarja explained and Kirsti shook her head.   
"Tuo, Tuo. I told you, never hide the ring somewhere she could find it."  
Tarja smiled weakly.  
"I'm Kirsti, by the way. Come, sweetie, sit down. How old are you? You look very young."  
"21," Tarja said. "Almost. In about two weeks."  
"Sweet, a Leo!" Kirsti called.  
Tarja smiled again and nodded as Kirsti offered her a cup of coffee.  
Under the table, Tuomas grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She looked at him and they smiled at each other.   
"Now look at you two," Kirsti said. "Tuomas, I'm glad you've final found someone whose number one topic isn't God."  
Tarja looked at Tuomas.   
"Laura," he sighed and Tarja nodded. She was still confused. Had he told them already about her faith?

After an hour Tarja had already loosened her walls. Tuomas' parents were funny and they laughed a lot.  
After a while, Tarja demanded Tuomas to play something on the piano, since he didn't have one at home. So he did, and even though he was completely out of training, he still could play. And how he played!  
Tarja started to cry as he played the theme song of The Piano.  
After wiping her tears away, she told him his idea.  
"We could found a band. You, I and Emppu."  
Tuomas smiled. "That's a good idea, actually."  
"Yes! Emppu is a wonderful guitar player. And with us three our band could be 'The Beauties and the Priest.'"  
Everyone laughed - Kirsti the loudest. "I love her humour."  
Tarja smiled. "So I'll ask Emppu. And Jukka, maybe! He's a drummer."  
"Slow down, girl," Tuomas laughed. "I can't be a priest and in a metal band."  
"Why not?" Pentti asked and looked at his son. "Something else, right?"  
Tuomas couldn't believe this was coming from his father. His father, who had been so proud of his son being a priest. His father, who had always said that metal was demonic music. His father, who had read the bible to him every evening.  
His father accepted Tarja in his life.

\--- the end ---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that this is the last chapter. I know it's abrupt but no one was really interested anymore or ever was...  
> I have other started stories I'll never end. Do you want to see them?


End file.
